Have you ever been waiting for something, then realized in the process that the thing that you're waiting for may take a lot longer than you had planned? Have you ever been so sure about something and felt so confident about your timing, then realized that whatever you had been brooding over would not necessarily be finished in the time you had allotted? Let's get more practical here. What are you to do, when you've been confidently pursuing a goal, a direction, perhaps a promise from God---if you believe like me that God speaks to humans---and you suddenly find yourself on a steep slope of indefinite delay? While I do not claim to have all of the answers, I do feel like I reached a breakthrough in this area this morning, and I'm eager to share it with you.
I was talking to God about this---actually, I've been talking to him a lot about this off and on---and this morning, I felt like he gave me a helpful key. First, let's look at two that I'm finding not so helpful. I'm going to frame this with the metaphor of chai, since that's how Jesus spoke to me this morning.
Imagine that you're making a big pot of chai, and you plan for it to be your best chai yet. You're confident about the recipe, the ingredients are fresh and in order, and as you proceed with each step, the aroma of the heavenly brew begins to stimulate your senses! "This is going to be an amazing chai!" you might say. You know that it's going to take some time, as it's a huge pot of chai, and the spices need to simmer long enough for their potent qualities to permeate the golden liquid. So you wait, you stir, you give it the time it needs, and more and more, the manifestation of chai becomes apparent before your eyes. It's time to remove the spices and pour in the milk! (I skipped the description of the previous steps, such as brewing the tea, so as not to turn this into a post on how to make chai.) Fast-forward. The beloved substance before you now looks like chai and smells like chai, and you've given it enough time, seemingly, for more of the water to boil out such that the milk takes its proper place to create a creamy consistency. The consistency should be right by now, so the spices can be removed and the sugar added. But wait! It's not thick enough yet! It's too watery! All of this time, and it's still not ready? What are we to do?
There are two options, no three, for how to proceed in the face of disappointing delay.
Option 1: Give up on the chai all together, concluding that the recipe was all wrong, and all of the time, energy, and ingredients invested were spent on a lost cause. You got it wrong. Pour out your progress, and count your losses, since you don't believe more time will really help. The recipe's wrong, remember?
Option 2: Keep believing, keep stirring, just give that chai more time, and test the consistency periodically to know when it's ready for the next stage. You got the recipe right...it's just going to take more time than you thought. Stick with it, thirsty for chai though you may be, and neglectful as you might operate towards the other needs in your day.
I'll share Option 3 right after I expound on these first two. Option 1 is in some regard, the safest route, since if the recipe is indeed wrong, more time is not necessarily going to help things. It will just end up in more wasted time and greater disappointment after further hope and time were invested. But it's also the most wasteful option if indeed the recipe turns out to be right and what's needed really is more time. Option 2 is a good bet, as on many occasions, more time and patience is what's needed, though the fast pace of a high-speed, instant-everything society can make that difficult. Even so, if the recipe is right, then the ingredients are fine, and it's important to give the process its due.
But there's a problem with Option 2. Continuing with the metaphor of chai-making, this second option keeps one stirring and staring at the brew that is becoming, leaving the maker very thirsty and wanting in the process, and neglecting other needful activities that would have otherwise made for a very good day. You've heard the term "stir-crazy?" Well, I'd say that in some cases, that's an appropriate descriptor of what this option can do to a maker of chai who does not know how long it will be until the consistency is right. Having made many chai's myself, I know what it's like to stew in front of the pot, stirring, waiting, checking, tasting, waiting some more...And the thing about chai is that you can't simply leave it to simmer on its own, not the way I do it anyway. Somebody MUST remain with the pot at all times, lest the milk get too hot and boil over. But we don't want to go stir-crazy either, do we? So what's the solution? That's where Option 3 comes into play! Ready?
Option 3: Continue stirring for a bit, realizing that the recipe is right---you didn't get it wrong---and it's just going to need more time, and when God comes walking into the kitchen, offering to take your place at the stove, gladly accept his offer. Here's how I see this playing out between him and me or him and you:
God: Hey, it smells good!
You/Me: Yeah, I thought it was going to be a really good chai, but I don't know now.
God: My recipe's good. And I saw you getting everything ready. You're gonna be fine. Just give it some more time.
You/Me: That's what I was thinking too, that it just needs more time, and I should just be patient. But I don't know. I'm going stir-crazy here standing in front of this stove! I smell the chai, and I see it's going to be good, but I can't have it right now. And I'm really ready for some caffeination!
God: Why don't you let me take your place here, and mosey on into the living room. I made you some tea there, some of your favorite, and there's some shortbread for you too. Go. Take a rest. I'll let you know when this is ready. It's my recipe anyway, remember? You go and relax. Chai is supposed to be life-giving, not soul-sucking.
You/Me: Ain't that the truth? Okay, God. Thanks for taking over. Let me know if you want me to come back and stir some more.
God: Will do! Enjoy!
So, what does this look like practically? There are obviously different ramifications for whatever your particular situation is and depending upon what your particular chai is in this case. But I think these tips are fair across the board:
1. Get out of the kitchen for awhile. Find some space where you're not looking at and smelling the aromas of the chai that's just not ready yet. (In reality, that would be very difficult if making true chai in a small space, but perhaps your living space is larger than mine. This is where the metaphor breaks down, but ah well.)
2. Enjoy the tea that's already brewed and whatever treats are available to soothe your hunger. I find that God is always preparing something for the future, so what did he prepare in the past that finds its future present today? That last question might have felt like a quandry in time travel, so here it is another way: If something's not ready to enjoy right now, what IS ready? What is around you that is perfect for this present season? Go invest in that. The chai will continue to brew, and God will tell you when it's ready or when he wants your help again in the making.
3. The best things take time. Good chai cannot be rushed. Neither can the richest gifts that God wants to give us. If there's tremendous delay, it might just mean that the end result is going to be better than you thought. A baby takes 9 months to grow in the mother's womb, and even after birth, it still has a lot of growing to do. But it's always becoming more complete, its richness revealed layers at a time. Enjoy the process. But if the process is maddening, go back to suggestions 1 and 2 above. :-)
I myself am a dreamer. I don't typically go for the mediocre, which means that I go for the biggest adventures instead, the greatest desires. A great story, however, often requires many chapters, and that will unfortunately involve some delay. But which story would you rather be living? Or to go back to our chai metaphor, which brew would you rather be drinking? Watery and weak, or the creamy and rich, that most beloved substance? I'll take the latter...and I'll gladly let God stir...so I don't go crazy. Won't you join me in the other room for some tea and cookies in the meantime?
P.S. If you would like a soundtrack for this post, listen to the song "Run" by Collective Soul.
Showing posts with label desires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label desires. Show all posts
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Desire's End or What Pac-Man Really Wants
For the past month or two, I have been intrigued by some sayings that I came across in the book of Proverbs, sayings that have to do with desire. I have been trying to wrap my mind and heart around these verses because on the surface they seem so good, yet at the same time, experience could dictate otherwise. Which is it? Are these sayings untrue, or do I need to go deeper to discover what they are really saying? Today, I want to talk about DESIRE through the lens of these three proverbs. I bet you are wondering what they are. Let's jump in!
King Solomon, the same guy I quoted much of in my last post, had this to say about desire in a book we now know as Proverbs: "The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath." -Proverbs 11:23
Lest this proverb be shucked off an anomaly and not worth really considering, there are two other proverbs that say something very similar in the chapter just before: "What the wicked dreads will overtake him; what the righteous desire will be granted." -Proverbs 10:24
"The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing." -Proverbs 10:28
Do you see a pattern here? See what this king is saying? It almost seems too good to be true, when taken at face value, and too many experiences of failed hopes can further the argument to give these sayings little real attention and to quickly move on. But we can't move on. We shouldn't. We'll miss something very deep, very important. And since when does experience become the barometer for truth? I find that often my own experiences have been misinterpreted by a cloudy vision on my part, thus preventing myself from knowing the truth of a situation for what it really was. So let's include experience in our discourse but treat it with less weight than it is due.
I want to break this apart some, as I do believe King Solomon is getting at something deeper than what's on the surface of these verses. Yet what is on the surface is not to be missed. Let's just focus on the first one. It says that "the desire of the righteous ends only in good," as opposed to the hopes of the wicked, which don't end well. Here is where experience would come in and tell us, "Ah, ah! Not so fast! That's not how it really works. Look at all of those selfish people who do whatever they want at the demise of others and get away with it! They get what they want. Their hopes aren't completely deflated." Or, experience might say something like this, on the other side: "You consider yourself righteous, yet look at all of the desires in your life that haven't been fulfilled. Look at all of the times in which you've hoped and not received that which you desired. Surely something is wrong here."
I was journaling just earlier, and trying to pick apart this proverb in question (from Proverbs 11:23). Something hit me. It is perhaps the END of our desire that it truly fulfilled, and I don't simply mean "end" as in "end of life," though that can be true at times. It hit me that someone who has a truly righteous desire, a hope or want that comes from a place that is pure and is centered in God, is going to indeed get that desire fulfilled, the root of it, or the END of it.
Let's look at it this way. If you are desiring to do something great with your life and have a specific way in which you aim to do it, it is very likely that you will achieve that, but perhaps you won't. However, the desire itself is good, what is driving it and what is at the root, so the END of that desire (what ends up actually fulfilling it) is going to be nothing but good. Make sense yet? Let's break it down further:
Let's look at Pac-Man. ("Pac-Man?" you might ask. Yes, Pac-Man. It just came to me. Let's see where this goes.) What is Pac-Man's desire. His desire is to eat all of the little dots in his path, and the fruits along the way while preventing getting eaten by any ghosts. There are many ways in which Pac-Man can do this, but let's pretend that he had one set of directions he wanted to follow, and one set only.
"I, Pac-Man, want to go straight, left, up, left, and right, then eat only cherries and and a banana along the way to my destination."
Now, what if Pac-Man, because of the ghosts who come along to corner him, has to take a different route? Suppose he gets to go straight, left, and up, but finds he has to go right first, then right again? And what if he missed the cherries and banana but he got a good gulp of strawberry along the way? Let us also suppose that Pac-Man completed his level. He arrived at his destination, and the end of it was good. Did he get what he wanted?
I think our lives are similar. There are all kind of things that we desire, when perhaps what we really desire beyond the specifics are the root, heart fulfillments that those specifics provide. In Pac-Man's case, he wants to get to his goal in a certain manner and have some tart and sweet fruit along the way (the cherries and the banana). Maybe he could have gotten everything just as he wished, but in our example, he got strawberries instead (and went another route). I conjecture that strawberries are both tart AND sweet, so Pac-Man got the better deal. And he reached the end of his destination, albeit going a different way.
Am I saying that we are never to desire specific things, since there is something deeper underneath that we want and will receive the root fulfillment from? No, not at all. Actually, I would say the opposite. In a world where multiple ghosts and roadblocks come to divert us from the path we've set ourselves on (Pac-Man, speak, mind you), it is all too easy to give up on desiring wholeheartedly and instead settle for whatever comes, or worse, remaining complacently stationary. It is good for Pac-Man to want those cherries, just as it is good for us to desire specific things! Maybe he will get the cherries (he sometimes does), and maybe we will achieve what we are specifically desiring (often times we do). I daresay it is in pursuit of those desires that we can come to a place of receiving the END of that desire, whether it is what we specifically sought out for or not. Imagine Pac-Man not moving anywhere. Those ghosts would gobble him up in a second, and do so repeatedly until...yup...Game Over. But that is not you and me. No, we shall be brave enough to desire, and we will win. Leave the wrath for those pesky ghosts. That's the end of their desire.
Are you afraid to desire? Are you desiring, but not desiring as big and and boldly as you think or know you can? Don't brace yourself for disappointment and forget to move. That's no way to live. Desire boldly, and let that desire move you in extravagant pursuit of that which you long for. If your desire is rooted in righteousness, you'll be fine. And the way to make sure it is rooted in righteousness is...well, I'll leave you with one other verse, one of my favorites, from the Psalms, and you can figure it out.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
King Solomon, the same guy I quoted much of in my last post, had this to say about desire in a book we now know as Proverbs: "The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath." -Proverbs 11:23
Lest this proverb be shucked off an anomaly and not worth really considering, there are two other proverbs that say something very similar in the chapter just before: "What the wicked dreads will overtake him; what the righteous desire will be granted." -Proverbs 10:24
"The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing." -Proverbs 10:28
Do you see a pattern here? See what this king is saying? It almost seems too good to be true, when taken at face value, and too many experiences of failed hopes can further the argument to give these sayings little real attention and to quickly move on. But we can't move on. We shouldn't. We'll miss something very deep, very important. And since when does experience become the barometer for truth? I find that often my own experiences have been misinterpreted by a cloudy vision on my part, thus preventing myself from knowing the truth of a situation for what it really was. So let's include experience in our discourse but treat it with less weight than it is due.
I want to break this apart some, as I do believe King Solomon is getting at something deeper than what's on the surface of these verses. Yet what is on the surface is not to be missed. Let's just focus on the first one. It says that "the desire of the righteous ends only in good," as opposed to the hopes of the wicked, which don't end well. Here is where experience would come in and tell us, "Ah, ah! Not so fast! That's not how it really works. Look at all of those selfish people who do whatever they want at the demise of others and get away with it! They get what they want. Their hopes aren't completely deflated." Or, experience might say something like this, on the other side: "You consider yourself righteous, yet look at all of the desires in your life that haven't been fulfilled. Look at all of the times in which you've hoped and not received that which you desired. Surely something is wrong here."
I was journaling just earlier, and trying to pick apart this proverb in question (from Proverbs 11:23). Something hit me. It is perhaps the END of our desire that it truly fulfilled, and I don't simply mean "end" as in "end of life," though that can be true at times. It hit me that someone who has a truly righteous desire, a hope or want that comes from a place that is pure and is centered in God, is going to indeed get that desire fulfilled, the root of it, or the END of it.
Let's look at it this way. If you are desiring to do something great with your life and have a specific way in which you aim to do it, it is very likely that you will achieve that, but perhaps you won't. However, the desire itself is good, what is driving it and what is at the root, so the END of that desire (what ends up actually fulfilling it) is going to be nothing but good. Make sense yet? Let's break it down further:
Let's look at Pac-Man. ("Pac-Man?" you might ask. Yes, Pac-Man. It just came to me. Let's see where this goes.) What is Pac-Man's desire. His desire is to eat all of the little dots in his path, and the fruits along the way while preventing getting eaten by any ghosts. There are many ways in which Pac-Man can do this, but let's pretend that he had one set of directions he wanted to follow, and one set only.
"I, Pac-Man, want to go straight, left, up, left, and right, then eat only cherries and and a banana along the way to my destination."
Now, what if Pac-Man, because of the ghosts who come along to corner him, has to take a different route? Suppose he gets to go straight, left, and up, but finds he has to go right first, then right again? And what if he missed the cherries and banana but he got a good gulp of strawberry along the way? Let us also suppose that Pac-Man completed his level. He arrived at his destination, and the end of it was good. Did he get what he wanted?
I think our lives are similar. There are all kind of things that we desire, when perhaps what we really desire beyond the specifics are the root, heart fulfillments that those specifics provide. In Pac-Man's case, he wants to get to his goal in a certain manner and have some tart and sweet fruit along the way (the cherries and the banana). Maybe he could have gotten everything just as he wished, but in our example, he got strawberries instead (and went another route). I conjecture that strawberries are both tart AND sweet, so Pac-Man got the better deal. And he reached the end of his destination, albeit going a different way.
Am I saying that we are never to desire specific things, since there is something deeper underneath that we want and will receive the root fulfillment from? No, not at all. Actually, I would say the opposite. In a world where multiple ghosts and roadblocks come to divert us from the path we've set ourselves on (Pac-Man, speak, mind you), it is all too easy to give up on desiring wholeheartedly and instead settle for whatever comes, or worse, remaining complacently stationary. It is good for Pac-Man to want those cherries, just as it is good for us to desire specific things! Maybe he will get the cherries (he sometimes does), and maybe we will achieve what we are specifically desiring (often times we do). I daresay it is in pursuit of those desires that we can come to a place of receiving the END of that desire, whether it is what we specifically sought out for or not. Imagine Pac-Man not moving anywhere. Those ghosts would gobble him up in a second, and do so repeatedly until...yup...Game Over. But that is not you and me. No, we shall be brave enough to desire, and we will win. Leave the wrath for those pesky ghosts. That's the end of their desire.
Are you afraid to desire? Are you desiring, but not desiring as big and and boldly as you think or know you can? Don't brace yourself for disappointment and forget to move. That's no way to live. Desire boldly, and let that desire move you in extravagant pursuit of that which you long for. If your desire is rooted in righteousness, you'll be fine. And the way to make sure it is rooted in righteousness is...well, I'll leave you with one other verse, one of my favorites, from the Psalms, and you can figure it out.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
Monday, November 5, 2012
What do you WANT? (With a bit of encouragement for Singles)
I want to muse a bit on resources for the next few moments. If you continue reading for very long, you will find this topic is almost the same that I wrote about in my last post about fountains, yet looking at it from another angle.
The word resource can tell us a lot about our needs and what we are trying to do in getting our needs filled. When we are lacking resources or looking for resources in our lives, we are desiring to re-source ourselves, to refill the supply that we once had or were drawing from...to get to recharge our very core.
A question came to me the other night at a dinner and discussion group centered around the spiritual needs we have and ways in which Jesus modeled filling those needs. At one point after some group talk, we were asked to take a few moments to quiet ourselves and ask what it was that we were really needing deep down, in terms of resources for the soul. The second part of this was to ask God to provide those resources of soul. Th millon-dollar question that I felt God popped up for me during the first part of this exercise was, "What are the needs behind your needs?" In other words, "Go a little deeper, David. You are desiring, but what desires does A represent?"
I'll tell you what God did in a little bit, but first I want to explore this idea of God getting to the needs behind our needs. In Matthew's account of Jesus initial earthly ministry, there is a story of these two blind men who are calling out to Jesus as he passes along what sounds like a busy road, bustling with people. The men are crying out, "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus' crew of disciples ignore the men and tell them to shut up (much like the world's response to our own needs at times, eh?). But these men keep crying out, and Jesus notices. He has the men brought to him and asks them a very key question, "What do you want me to do for you?" to which they reply that they want their sight back. Jesus then heals them, giving them their sight, and makes a key connection to their faith being what had saved them. (This is all from Matthew 20 in the Bible if you want to check it out.)
What I find interesting in that story is that Jesus asks these blind guys what they wanted. Why? Couldn't Jesus see that they were blind? Why would he ask such an obvious question? Perhaps it wasn't so obvious. Perhaps the daily traffic would simply hear these blind beggar's cries and assume that they wanted alms like so many other beggars they'd experienced. That wouldn't be a bad assumption, would it? But Jesus doesn't just assume. He asks, "What do you want?" He's getting to the deeper need. These beggars didn't just want a quick fix for the day, alms to get them by. They had the faith in this moment to ask for something BIG, something truly RESTORATIVE, namely, their sight! I wonder how many times we stop at the surface of our own needs, asking Jesus, life, or other resources to simply put a band-aid on the troubles of the day instead of restoring in a deeper, more substantial way.
I told you that I'd let you in on what God did later that evening at the discussion group during the quiet exercise examining our needs and how God may be able to resource us. After God asked me in essence, "What do you really want? What's behind these other things that you are initially wanting?" what I came to was the realization that I wanted to be noticed. "Noticed how?" you may ask? Well, I'll get a little more vulnerable with you, if you will read on.
As a single man approaching 30 in an American culture that equates being married or in a romantic relationship as "having made it" in the relational circus, it is easy to feel somewhat less-than at times. I, along with several other of my peers, would love to be in a relationship with someone such that cultural stigma of singleness no longer holds it finger-pointing power over me. So as I was thinking about my desire for deeper companionship and romantic relationship with a woman, God hinted that there was something even deeper that I was seeking. I didn't quite know what that was until the resource of the evening came.
Sitting quietly, waiting for Jesus to resource me with whatever he would provide for my soul in those few moments, I sensed him looking at me and saying, "Wow!" It was almost audible, as clear as it was. And in the depths of my spirit, I felt an immense peace, satisfaction and joy. I had just been validated by the God of the universe. Affirmation and validation were among those deeper needs I was longing for. And Jesus had them for me in some small yet significant way that evening. He noticed. I was noticed. Wow.
"The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." -Psalm 34:10
What are you seeking? What do you want? He is resource for us all, bread, life, fountain, good chai. Won't you drink with me?
The word resource can tell us a lot about our needs and what we are trying to do in getting our needs filled. When we are lacking resources or looking for resources in our lives, we are desiring to re-source ourselves, to refill the supply that we once had or were drawing from...to get to recharge our very core.
A question came to me the other night at a dinner and discussion group centered around the spiritual needs we have and ways in which Jesus modeled filling those needs. At one point after some group talk, we were asked to take a few moments to quiet ourselves and ask what it was that we were really needing deep down, in terms of resources for the soul. The second part of this was to ask God to provide those resources of soul. Th millon-dollar question that I felt God popped up for me during the first part of this exercise was, "What are the needs behind your needs?" In other words, "Go a little deeper, David. You are desiring, but what desires does A represent?"
I'll tell you what God did in a little bit, but first I want to explore this idea of God getting to the needs behind our needs. In Matthew's account of Jesus initial earthly ministry, there is a story of these two blind men who are calling out to Jesus as he passes along what sounds like a busy road, bustling with people. The men are crying out, "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus' crew of disciples ignore the men and tell them to shut up (much like the world's response to our own needs at times, eh?). But these men keep crying out, and Jesus notices. He has the men brought to him and asks them a very key question, "What do you want me to do for you?" to which they reply that they want their sight back. Jesus then heals them, giving them their sight, and makes a key connection to their faith being what had saved them. (This is all from Matthew 20 in the Bible if you want to check it out.)
What I find interesting in that story is that Jesus asks these blind guys what they wanted. Why? Couldn't Jesus see that they were blind? Why would he ask such an obvious question? Perhaps it wasn't so obvious. Perhaps the daily traffic would simply hear these blind beggar's cries and assume that they wanted alms like so many other beggars they'd experienced. That wouldn't be a bad assumption, would it? But Jesus doesn't just assume. He asks, "What do you want?" He's getting to the deeper need. These beggars didn't just want a quick fix for the day, alms to get them by. They had the faith in this moment to ask for something BIG, something truly RESTORATIVE, namely, their sight! I wonder how many times we stop at the surface of our own needs, asking Jesus, life, or other resources to simply put a band-aid on the troubles of the day instead of restoring in a deeper, more substantial way.
I told you that I'd let you in on what God did later that evening at the discussion group during the quiet exercise examining our needs and how God may be able to resource us. After God asked me in essence, "What do you really want? What's behind these other things that you are initially wanting?" what I came to was the realization that I wanted to be noticed. "Noticed how?" you may ask? Well, I'll get a little more vulnerable with you, if you will read on.
As a single man approaching 30 in an American culture that equates being married or in a romantic relationship as "having made it" in the relational circus, it is easy to feel somewhat less-than at times. I, along with several other of my peers, would love to be in a relationship with someone such that cultural stigma of singleness no longer holds it finger-pointing power over me. So as I was thinking about my desire for deeper companionship and romantic relationship with a woman, God hinted that there was something even deeper that I was seeking. I didn't quite know what that was until the resource of the evening came.
Sitting quietly, waiting for Jesus to resource me with whatever he would provide for my soul in those few moments, I sensed him looking at me and saying, "Wow!" It was almost audible, as clear as it was. And in the depths of my spirit, I felt an immense peace, satisfaction and joy. I had just been validated by the God of the universe. Affirmation and validation were among those deeper needs I was longing for. And Jesus had them for me in some small yet significant way that evening. He noticed. I was noticed. Wow.
"The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." -Psalm 34:10
What are you seeking? What do you want? He is resource for us all, bread, life, fountain, good chai. Won't you drink with me?
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