I want to muse a bit on resources for the next few moments. If you continue reading for very long, you will find this topic is almost the same that I wrote about in my last post about fountains, yet looking at it from another angle.
The word resource can tell us a lot about our needs and what we are trying to do in getting our needs filled. When we are lacking resources or looking for resources in our lives, we are desiring to re-source ourselves, to refill the supply that we once had or were drawing from...to get to recharge our very core.
A question came to me the other night at a dinner and discussion group centered around the spiritual needs we have and ways in which Jesus modeled filling those needs. At one point after some group talk, we were asked to take a few moments to quiet ourselves and ask what it was that we were really needing deep down, in terms of resources for the soul. The second part of this was to ask God to provide those resources of soul. Th millon-dollar question that I felt God popped up for me during the first part of this exercise was, "What are the needs behind your needs?" In other words, "Go a little deeper, David. You are desiring, but what desires does A represent?"
I'll tell you what God did in a little bit, but first I want to explore this idea of God getting to the needs behind our needs. In Matthew's account of Jesus initial earthly ministry, there is a story of these two blind men who are calling out to Jesus as he passes along what sounds like a busy road, bustling with people. The men are crying out, "Jesus, son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus' crew of disciples ignore the men and tell them to shut up (much like the world's response to our own needs at times, eh?). But these men keep crying out, and Jesus notices. He has the men brought to him and asks them a very key question, "What do you want me to do for you?" to which they reply that they want their sight back. Jesus then heals them, giving them their sight, and makes a key connection to their faith being what had saved them. (This is all from Matthew 20 in the Bible if you want to check it out.)
What I find interesting in that story is that Jesus asks these blind guys what they wanted. Why? Couldn't Jesus see that they were blind? Why would he ask such an obvious question? Perhaps it wasn't so obvious. Perhaps the daily traffic would simply hear these blind beggar's cries and assume that they wanted alms like so many other beggars they'd experienced. That wouldn't be a bad assumption, would it? But Jesus doesn't just assume. He asks, "What do you want?" He's getting to the deeper need. These beggars didn't just want a quick fix for the day, alms to get them by. They had the faith in this moment to ask for something BIG, something truly RESTORATIVE, namely, their sight! I wonder how many times we stop at the surface of our own needs, asking Jesus, life, or other resources to simply put a band-aid on the troubles of the day instead of restoring in a deeper, more substantial way.
I told you that I'd let you in on what God did later that evening at the discussion group during the quiet exercise examining our needs and how God may be able to resource us. After God asked me in essence, "What do you really want? What's behind these other things that you are initially wanting?" what I came to was the realization that I wanted to be noticed. "Noticed how?" you may ask? Well, I'll get a little more vulnerable with you, if you will read on.
As a single man approaching 30 in an American culture that equates being married or in a romantic relationship as "having made it" in the relational circus, it is easy to feel somewhat less-than at times. I, along with several other of my peers, would love to be in a relationship with someone such that cultural stigma of singleness no longer holds it finger-pointing power over me. So as I was thinking about my desire for deeper companionship and romantic relationship with a woman, God hinted that there was something even deeper that I was seeking. I didn't quite know what that was until the resource of the evening came.
Sitting quietly, waiting for Jesus to resource me with whatever he would provide for my soul in those few moments, I sensed him looking at me and saying, "Wow!" It was almost audible, as clear as it was. And in the depths of my spirit, I felt an immense peace, satisfaction and joy. I had just been validated by the God of the universe. Affirmation and validation were among those deeper needs I was longing for. And Jesus had them for me in some small yet significant way that evening. He noticed. I was noticed. Wow.
"The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." -Psalm 34:10
What are you seeking? What do you want? He is resource for us all, bread, life, fountain, good chai. Won't you drink with me?
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