What is a fountain? Why is it that when you or I look at a fountain, we typically respond with joy or at least appreciate the beauty of what we're beholding? I want to talk about fountains today, particularly fountains of life, or in classic David imagery, fountains of chai. So, let us indulge together.
Drinking some home-brewed chai this morning and talking to God some (moreso reading his words and letting him talk to me), I was struck by some things that feel pivotal in terms of where I and others get our source of life, well-being and joy.
So...Fountains. What's with those bubbling bodies of water (or chocolate if we get lucky)? Other than the sheer beauty that fountains possess, I think that what makes fountains most alluring is that they are a source of constant flow, and typically a continual flow of that which we all need to survive: water (or once again, chocolate, for any of you chocoholics out there). Where so many other bodies of water have the potential to dry up, diminish, or become stagnant, a fountain, at its best, is ever flowing, majestic and beckoning onlookers to behold both its rootedness as a source and its ability to grow beyond gravity.
I find that these qualities also ring true for things or people in life that we look to for a source of joy. In my life, I have friends whose fellowship and presence at times represent grounded-ness, joy, and life. Or I look to artistic passions such as writing, acting, and producing theatre to fill my needs for excitement, beauty, joy, and rootedness. None of these are bad in themselves until I begin to look to them as my primary fountains. Why? Because there is only one fountain that is primary, and the rest can easily dry out at any moment, just like the chai ceased to flow at Borders years ago (my nightmare come true).
One of my fountains has felt very dry recently, and I found myself thirsty for fresh chai. Here's what I found:
"They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights." -Psalm 36:8.
There has been a time in history where people who claimed to know God also claimed to have an experience with him that one of their writers characterized as "abundant" and as if drinking from a "river of delights." That's some strong language! Is that still available? Why would anyone speak of such a river of delights with such confidence? The answer is perhaps in the next verse of this Psalm (which was actually a song in its original form):
"For with you is the fountain of life; in your light, we see light." -Psalm 36:9.
This Psalm is a song to God, and here in verse 9, the writer of the song is referring to God as the FOUNTAIN of life, or at least saying that it resides somewhere with this God. We also see the imagery of light, which during Chicago winters, many equate to hope and joy (or a lack thereof). So with this God is a fountain (source) of life, and light which helps us to see light. Interesting words, once again.
I will not list all of the references to the well-being of soul that I have recently come across in the Psalms, but suffice to say that there are PLENTY! In learning about the soul, it seems that the soul is that place where our bodies and hearts receive nourishment, where we desperately desire love, affection, meaning, and everything that a fountain of life could possibly provide. And God is acutely aware of our souls' deep needs:
"I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place."-Psalm 31:7-8.
Moving from water to chai, a drink which caffeinates, awakens, and just plain makes me happy, So where can I get my chai that doesn't run out? What does it mean to feast on the abundance of God's house, to drink from his river of delights? If the fountain is with God, and in his light we can see light, where is that fountain and how do I get it? A woman from Samaria once had a similar conversation with God, and here's what Jesus had to say, regarding two kinds of water.
"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."- John 4:13-14.
Hmm...Sounds kind of like a fountain to me. Elsewhere, Jesus says that he is the equivalent to bread, and the bread of life, as if we are to get our sustenance from him just like we would get our physical sustenance from one of the most basic of foods. And he goes onto say that the person who believes in him would never go thirsty. I have to believe he was speaking about more than just physical bread and water.
What are you thirsty for? What is your chai, the thing that caffeinates you and provides your soul with a sense of invigoration and well-being? Where are your fountains? And what might it be like to drink of Jesus as the primary fountain? If Jesus' claims are true and if the experiences of these Old Testament Jewish writers are true, then something is available that must be better and richer than any normal feast or fountain could provide. I've tasted it and want more....fountains of his chai*.
"Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." -Isaiah 55:2b
"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." -Psalm 34:8
*A friend of mine once told me that the letters "chai" also make up a Hebrew word which means "life." Bring on the chai and lots of it!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
New Challenge, Old Mandate (or Theatre for the Poor)
I was challenged in the last 24 hours by something two artists mentioned about artists and poverty. Their words, ruminating in my mind, along with some others that have been swimming there for awhile and some words about the poor that I read in the book of Job today, provoked a new question in me:
What does it mean to CREATE THEATRE FOR THE POOR? More broadly, one could ask what it would take to create ART for the poor, but being a theatre artist myself, I would like to focus the question on the theatrical world. Before trying to answer the question of what it means or even how to create theatre for the poor, I would like to present some foundations for WHY this kind of theatre-making is necessary.
Much of what I am about to say is based on the teachings of Jesus and a Biblical worldview, but I welcome others to engage in this exploration who are not of that mindset, as this should be fairly universal. If you prefer to skip over the Bible verses related to the poor, you may scroll down a bit for further exploration.
So, WHY should we create theatre for the poor?
1. God cares about the poor. There are countless examples throughout history of God's deep concern and advocacy for the poor.
Psalm 82:3 says, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed."
Psalm 140:12 says, "I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor."
Isaiah 41:17 says, "The afflicted and needy are seeking water, but there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst. I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, as the God of Israel I will not forsake them."
In Luke 6:20-21 Jesus says, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."
There is so much more I could list here, but allow me to proceed to the next point.
2. Loving the Poor is at the very core of loving and living like God. It is one of his highest priorities.
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27.
"Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?" -Is. 58:66
3. In loving Jesus, we are loving the poor. If we are excluding the poor from our theatre, are we not at some level excluding Jesus?
"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’- Matthew 25:40
Look at his response to others in Matthew 25:44-45. “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’"
4. Jesus emptied himself of his riches to pour it out on all of us, the poor in spirit. And his mission had the poor and outcast its center.
Luke 4:16-21. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read... "The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He appointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD... Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."
Rather than load you down with a barrage of Bible verses, I would like to unpack some of my thinking on this in the form of questions I am ruminating.
Given that live theatre is typically more expensive to go see than watching a movie, are we as theatre artists really making theatre accessible to the poor among us? Sure, we have industry tickets which help the poor amongst our own kind (other actors, designers, stage managers, etc.), but what of those outside of our artistic community who lack the means to pay the ticket prices often necessary for a decent show?
I think of Broadway, or Vegas shows from Cirque du Soleil and Blue Man Group. Or I think of local groups (specific theatres I will not mention here) who charge $20.00 or more to go see one of their productions. And I am not faulting them for this. It takes money to create good work. But then what does that mean for the patrons we are allowing to come see our work? The socio-economic factors automatically rule out a good deal of the community who is just deserving and perhaps even more in need of good theatre than the rest of us who typically get to see it. How do we solve this problem?
I was moved by a scene from the movie "Finding Neverland" years ago, in which Johnny Depp's character, J.M. Barry, asks one of his associates to find as many children as he can from off of the streets to fill the seats of his theatre for the opening of "Peter Pan." It seemed that Barry was purposely integrating these children, "the least of these" so to speak, with the well-to-do adult audience members in order to create a theatrical experience that would be richer for BOTH parties. The children were delighted by the story and an entertainment form that they might not have otherwise gotten to experience, and the adults in the room were likewise invited into an experience that they would not have enjoyed otherwise; the pure joy of being child-like. The children in this audience were actually helping to inform how the adults in the room could freely respond to the action taking place on stage. As a result of this genius combination, the well-to-do audience members got it. They were able to laugh and engage in the play along with their "lesser" counter-parts. And in those moments, they were able to find a common ground, whether conscious of it or not.
Now, I am not suggesting that we always put children and adults together in the audience as a way to create a magical theatrical experience (though you would be surprised at what this combination can do even in this day and age). Rather, I think the scene from "Finding Neverland" serves as a wonderful image of the benefit that can come in serving more than one audience type, the haves and the have-nots. And I dare to say that as we do so more and more, we will find that the have-nots are really the "haves" in some respect, offering so much more to the larger community than what we might expect.
So this begs the question. How are we to create theatre for the poor? Does this mean that we eliminate ticket prices altogether? Or make ticket prices so low that even the poorest of the poor will not have a hard time scrounging up the extra change needed to get a seat? How might this affect the production quality of the work being presented? Should theatre for the poor be limited to poor quality theatre? If the rich of the world (which I suggest are you and I reading this) are privy to stellar entertainment experiences, should the poor receive anything less? If we are accustomed to a nice Italian dinner every now and then, should the poor's experience be relegated to out-of-the-box Mac 'N Cheese, just because it's cheaper?
I don't know what the solution is. But I am committed to finding out. I hope to find others who are willing to explore this with me. I would love to create Cirque du Soleil quality work that anyone can access, poor or not. It will take something miraculous and radical, I am sure. Sounds to me like an adventure worth pursuing!
What does it mean to CREATE THEATRE FOR THE POOR? More broadly, one could ask what it would take to create ART for the poor, but being a theatre artist myself, I would like to focus the question on the theatrical world. Before trying to answer the question of what it means or even how to create theatre for the poor, I would like to present some foundations for WHY this kind of theatre-making is necessary.
Much of what I am about to say is based on the teachings of Jesus and a Biblical worldview, but I welcome others to engage in this exploration who are not of that mindset, as this should be fairly universal. If you prefer to skip over the Bible verses related to the poor, you may scroll down a bit for further exploration.
So, WHY should we create theatre for the poor?
1. God cares about the poor. There are countless examples throughout history of God's deep concern and advocacy for the poor.
Psalm 82:3 says, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed."
Psalm 140:12 says, "I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor."
Isaiah 41:17 says, "The afflicted and needy are seeking water, but there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst. I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, as the God of Israel I will not forsake them."
In Luke 6:20-21 Jesus says, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."
There is so much more I could list here, but allow me to proceed to the next point.
2. Loving the Poor is at the very core of loving and living like God. It is one of his highest priorities.
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27.
"Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?" -Is. 58:66
3. In loving Jesus, we are loving the poor. If we are excluding the poor from our theatre, are we not at some level excluding Jesus?
"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’- Matthew 25:40
Look at his response to others in Matthew 25:44-45. “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’"
4. Jesus emptied himself of his riches to pour it out on all of us, the poor in spirit. And his mission had the poor and outcast its center.
Luke 4:16-21. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read... "The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He appointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD... Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."
Rather than load you down with a barrage of Bible verses, I would like to unpack some of my thinking on this in the form of questions I am ruminating.
Given that live theatre is typically more expensive to go see than watching a movie, are we as theatre artists really making theatre accessible to the poor among us? Sure, we have industry tickets which help the poor amongst our own kind (other actors, designers, stage managers, etc.), but what of those outside of our artistic community who lack the means to pay the ticket prices often necessary for a decent show?
I think of Broadway, or Vegas shows from Cirque du Soleil and Blue Man Group. Or I think of local groups (specific theatres I will not mention here) who charge $20.00 or more to go see one of their productions. And I am not faulting them for this. It takes money to create good work. But then what does that mean for the patrons we are allowing to come see our work? The socio-economic factors automatically rule out a good deal of the community who is just deserving and perhaps even more in need of good theatre than the rest of us who typically get to see it. How do we solve this problem?
I was moved by a scene from the movie "Finding Neverland" years ago, in which Johnny Depp's character, J.M. Barry, asks one of his associates to find as many children as he can from off of the streets to fill the seats of his theatre for the opening of "Peter Pan." It seemed that Barry was purposely integrating these children, "the least of these" so to speak, with the well-to-do adult audience members in order to create a theatrical experience that would be richer for BOTH parties. The children were delighted by the story and an entertainment form that they might not have otherwise gotten to experience, and the adults in the room were likewise invited into an experience that they would not have enjoyed otherwise; the pure joy of being child-like. The children in this audience were actually helping to inform how the adults in the room could freely respond to the action taking place on stage. As a result of this genius combination, the well-to-do audience members got it. They were able to laugh and engage in the play along with their "lesser" counter-parts. And in those moments, they were able to find a common ground, whether conscious of it or not.
Now, I am not suggesting that we always put children and adults together in the audience as a way to create a magical theatrical experience (though you would be surprised at what this combination can do even in this day and age). Rather, I think the scene from "Finding Neverland" serves as a wonderful image of the benefit that can come in serving more than one audience type, the haves and the have-nots. And I dare to say that as we do so more and more, we will find that the have-nots are really the "haves" in some respect, offering so much more to the larger community than what we might expect.
So this begs the question. How are we to create theatre for the poor? Does this mean that we eliminate ticket prices altogether? Or make ticket prices so low that even the poorest of the poor will not have a hard time scrounging up the extra change needed to get a seat? How might this affect the production quality of the work being presented? Should theatre for the poor be limited to poor quality theatre? If the rich of the world (which I suggest are you and I reading this) are privy to stellar entertainment experiences, should the poor receive anything less? If we are accustomed to a nice Italian dinner every now and then, should the poor's experience be relegated to out-of-the-box Mac 'N Cheese, just because it's cheaper?
I don't know what the solution is. But I am committed to finding out. I hope to find others who are willing to explore this with me. I would love to create Cirque du Soleil quality work that anyone can access, poor or not. It will take something miraculous and radical, I am sure. Sounds to me like an adventure worth pursuing!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2011: Open Heaven....Part I
Every year, I ask God what his theme is for me for the new year. For 2011 it was "Open Heaven." What this meant, based on some other things that God had been sharing with me, was that 2011 was to be a year full of blessings pouring down from heaven, as if it was opened up and the goodness couldn't help but drop from above. I felt that he was going to bless me in some specific ways related to my theatrical pursuits, which he did. As 2012 is dawning, I want to take a few moments to acknowledge some of the wonderful things God did in relation to opening heaven for me this past year.
2011 began somewhat dry, having experienced a flurry of activity the previous fall related to workshopping my new kids musical, King David: LIVE! through what I called the "Pre-Premiere Performance Tour." We weren't going to begin rehearsals for the full production of King David: LIVE! until sometime in March of 2011, so there was a gap of time where seemingly nothing was going on creatively. However, where a few months prior I got to taste a flurry, God has a full-on BLIZZARD in store for me, and he prophesied it through an ACTUAL BLIZZARD in February, on Groundhog Day.
Blizzard------> Open Heaven? YES INDEED! Some of my readers may know that I have prayed for snow for many years from a very early age, having lived in Houston, Texas (land of no snow) for much of my growing up life. So when a blizzard came to Chicago earlier this year, I couldn't help but proudly claim the blame for it. I had been praying for snow for years, even a blizzard at different times, and God just decided to dump it on me in a city that could handle it. Houston would have been shut down for weeks if not more, had something like this occurred there. So there was that. And I LOVED it. Open Heaven #1.
Open Heaven#2: God gave me my first theatrical team here in Chicago. Inviting Chris Leck aboard for the King David: LIVE! workshops was a first step in this direction back in the Fall of 2010, but when I turned the show into a three-person piece and Kylie Edmonds came aboard, the magic number 3 made it feel more official. I had my first team of theatre artists who were going to help me get a show up in Chicago, and my first full, professional play at that. I was so excited.
Open Heaven#3: After much rehearsing, we still needed to gather our materials for props, costumes, set, etc. to get King David: LIVE! up and running. God gave me a very fun and talented costume designer in Kylie, with whom I went rummaging through clothing racks at thrift stores and a few other places to find affordable, workable costume solutions. A director friend of mine just happened to have a pipe and drape system that we were able to borrow, and Chris, my other actor, still had a solid drop that he had made for a previous show. When we set that drop up for the first time in my apartment with the pipe system, I knew what was coming next....We were really going to premiere this thing. Time for Open Heaven #4.
Open Heaven #4: God graciously provided me with the right connections and direction to go for professional advertisement of the show, and that combined with further grace resulted in a SELL-OUT house for the premiere performance of King David: LIVE! at Gorilla Tango Theatre. My first fully finished production, professionally produced, and the first performance sold out! How perfect, how very gracious of my God to do this for me! We actually had to turn people away because there were no more seats available. The following performance did not sell out, but we still broke even for that premiere weekend, and the whole experience felt like such a reward and gift. Odd combination I suppose, but that's how it felt.
Open Heaven #5: As part of the advertising campaign, my friend Joel McGinty crafted a very nice video promo for me for King David: LIVE! At a time of discouragement when there was little activity in January and February, seeing this promo further bolstered my hope and faith that this was a production that was about to take flight and was worth going after this year.
Open Heaven #5: My brother Joshua who helped me move to Chicago over 3 years ago got to visit me for the first time since the relocation, and he was able to witness all of the blessing being poured out on me. He took part in that himself, and it was very good to have him.
Open Heaven #6: My brother Ivan's wife, Rachel, made a professional website for me to further promote King David: LIVE! You can see it at www.kingdavidlive.com
Open Heaven #7: After premiering KDL in May, we got a professional booking at a local community center two weeks later, and we were also able to do a mini performance at a private school that just happened to have a HUGE, professional theatre space. We're talking raked seating, wireless mic system, the works. I believe this was a foretaste of bookings to come.
Open Heaven #8: In September, we launched a huge campaign to further promote bookings of KDL in schools, churches, synagogues, and anywhere else that may want to awaken heroes and history makers in the next generation (that's the purpose of the show in its broad scope). While this second weekend of performances did not do as well as the opening weekends in terms of ticket sales, it provided my team and I the opportunity to develop the show further, adding some new and better costumes and props, fine-tuning our performances, and we got some additional photos and video to use on the KDL website as well. Additionally, we were able to make some important connections with institutions that may prove to be an important bridge builder for future performances of the show down the line, including one at a Willow Creek church this coming year, 2012.
Open Heaven #9...I am going to have to continue this in a part two, as I about to celebrate the closing of 2011 and dawning of 2012. There are just too many blessings from 2011 to list in this short amount of time. Keep watch for part II! See you in 2012!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Oil Spill: Part I
What goes in must come out. What goes up, must come down.
What does it mean to be a person of truth? What did Jesus mean when he said, "True worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth?" (my paraphrase)
I wonder if this has something to do with approaching God and others from a place of glass-splitting honesty. (If "glass-splitting honesty" seems an odd combination of words to you, think on it a bit, and I am confident the meaning will come to most of you reading this.) That would necessitate coming to him with both the good and the bad, the light, dark, and in between that we would often rather not admit or talk about. It feels better to come to God and others with a fresh face; radiant with hope, expectancy and faith in what is and what is to come. But what of the times when that faith is just not there, or feels fragile at best?
I think God welcomes it all. Consider the following:
"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless." -Psalm 10:14
And continuing a little later:
"You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." -Psalm 10:17-18.
What strikes me in this is God's listening posture and his encouraging. Actually, it goes the other way around in the passage. He encourages, and THEN he listens. Many who are used to the "pull yourself up by your Bible bootstraps" method of recovery might expect it to be the other way around, where we cry, followed by God encouraging, saying, "That's it! Cry no more! I've encouraged you!" And while I think that is part of the equation at times, there is something equally beautiful and comforting to be gained from what we see here: Encouragement, then more crying. It's as if God is saying, "I'll encourage you. Now keep crying. Let it all out. I'll encourage you some more, for as long as it takes."
To be quite honest, I have been processing some disappointments lately that have felt like the culminating disappointment of my life. And in this, I have felt God giving me the permission to get angry about it, with him and with what feels to me like an injustice. (I know that God is just, so I am not accusing him. But it is surprising when he allows us to use him as a punching bag.) And this has been scary. But I think it would be less scary if I were to process this kind of grief more honestly and more regularly. It's like an oil reservoir, longing to be drilled, the pressure having built up for so long that upon finally being tapped, the black ooze just seems to pour and pour.
Nobody wants to see crude oil pouring out of their mouth. But an old proverb says that "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." So what goes in must come out. Pain in, pain out. Joy in, joy out. Perhaps the trick is knowing when and how to tap the crude oil reserves so that others aren't subject to a massive oil spill. I think that's what the cross is for...pouring it all on Jesus, while he pours blood and water on us in return...life and more life.
What does it mean to be a person of truth? What did Jesus mean when he said, "True worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth?" (my paraphrase)
I wonder if this has something to do with approaching God and others from a place of glass-splitting honesty. (If "glass-splitting honesty" seems an odd combination of words to you, think on it a bit, and I am confident the meaning will come to most of you reading this.) That would necessitate coming to him with both the good and the bad, the light, dark, and in between that we would often rather not admit or talk about. It feels better to come to God and others with a fresh face; radiant with hope, expectancy and faith in what is and what is to come. But what of the times when that faith is just not there, or feels fragile at best?
I think God welcomes it all. Consider the following:
"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless." -Psalm 10:14
And continuing a little later:
"You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." -Psalm 10:17-18.
What strikes me in this is God's listening posture and his encouraging. Actually, it goes the other way around in the passage. He encourages, and THEN he listens. Many who are used to the "pull yourself up by your Bible bootstraps" method of recovery might expect it to be the other way around, where we cry, followed by God encouraging, saying, "That's it! Cry no more! I've encouraged you!" And while I think that is part of the equation at times, there is something equally beautiful and comforting to be gained from what we see here: Encouragement, then more crying. It's as if God is saying, "I'll encourage you. Now keep crying. Let it all out. I'll encourage you some more, for as long as it takes."
To be quite honest, I have been processing some disappointments lately that have felt like the culminating disappointment of my life. And in this, I have felt God giving me the permission to get angry about it, with him and with what feels to me like an injustice. (I know that God is just, so I am not accusing him. But it is surprising when he allows us to use him as a punching bag.) And this has been scary. But I think it would be less scary if I were to process this kind of grief more honestly and more regularly. It's like an oil reservoir, longing to be drilled, the pressure having built up for so long that upon finally being tapped, the black ooze just seems to pour and pour.
Nobody wants to see crude oil pouring out of their mouth. But an old proverb says that "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." So what goes in must come out. Pain in, pain out. Joy in, joy out. Perhaps the trick is knowing when and how to tap the crude oil reserves so that others aren't subject to a massive oil spill. I think that's what the cross is for...pouring it all on Jesus, while he pours blood and water on us in return...life and more life.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Tree at Last
What can you do when your place of greatest hope begins to infringe on your deepest disappointment? What is one to do when cold, hard retreat and impending satisfaction neither seem viable options?
Can one who is lame ever dare to truly walk on his own, when any attempts made previously ended in the same pitiful falling? And by the same token, can one bear to deny any future hope for a successful, stabilized attempt?
Such is the bittersweet flower we call "hope." It is at once a sweet fragrance and a putrid odor, depending on which side of a moment it stands.
Hope...deferred makes the heart sick. But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Some shoots may grow into beautiful trees, even out of what was once a stump perhaps. But how many times can such a stump bear to extend a fresh, green shoot, groping towards heaven, before it becomes weary of the constant chopping down which it is never quite, and somehow always, accustomed to?
As my mom, Cat Ello, wrote in one of her songs years ago,
"Jesus, Gardner of my heart,
break this fallow ground apart."
Oh to be tree....tree indeed.
Can one who is lame ever dare to truly walk on his own, when any attempts made previously ended in the same pitiful falling? And by the same token, can one bear to deny any future hope for a successful, stabilized attempt?
Such is the bittersweet flower we call "hope." It is at once a sweet fragrance and a putrid odor, depending on which side of a moment it stands.
Hope...deferred makes the heart sick. But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Some shoots may grow into beautiful trees, even out of what was once a stump perhaps. But how many times can such a stump bear to extend a fresh, green shoot, groping towards heaven, before it becomes weary of the constant chopping down which it is never quite, and somehow always, accustomed to?
As my mom, Cat Ello, wrote in one of her songs years ago,
"Jesus, Gardner of my heart,
break this fallow ground apart."
Oh to be tree....tree indeed.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Winter Morning....A New Poem for the First Big Snow of the Season
Winter Morning
by David Ello
Winter's magic, some call tragic,
caught my breath this morning.
Sugar-crested, trees stand rested
underneath their blankets white.
Speckled, golden leaves lay hanging,
candied jewels in sweet suspension.
Were my eyes to write their sight,
days like this they'd more than mention.
But what my vision can't describe,
my heart instead will self-inscribe.
Winter wondered while I slumbered...
Woke me up this morning.
by David Ello
Winter's magic, some call tragic,
caught my breath this morning.
Sugar-crested, trees stand rested
underneath their blankets white.
Speckled, golden leaves lay hanging,
candied jewels in sweet suspension.
Were my eyes to write their sight,
days like this they'd more than mention.
But what my vision can't describe,
my heart instead will self-inscribe.
Winter wondered while I slumbered...
Woke me up this morning.
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