What happens when the season around you is not the same as the season within you? How are you to proceed when it's winter outside but springtime in your heart, or summer outside but winter within?
I am experiencing such a juxtaposition in this current season of my life, and I've had a discovery which I hope will be helpful to others in navigating the seasons of their life.
At the time of this writing, it is mid-June, and I find myself still at the beginning of a beautiful, Chicago summer, with its blissful sunbeams and the perfect combination of cool and warmth blended in the breeze boasting of promise and long-awaited rest. Everybody in Chicago loves the summer. It's what keeps so many of us here to endure what often feels like a never-ending winter (and a sometimes brutal one at that). So why is it that this summer I couldn't be happier for summer to be over? I daresay it has to do with my internal season.
If you have read any of my previous posts from the past few months, you may be able to infer that the earlier months of this year, those of the winter, actually, were quite a marvelous season for me, given the abundance of life and fulfillment that I was experiencing in the gifts that God had provided for me. Aside from the fact that I have a special place in my heart for snow, I am convinced that my experience of the physical season of winter was tempered by the incredible springtime bursting with new life and hope within my soul and spirit. The springtime (or summer) of my soul brought the flowering of new love, and with it, several new experiences through which God brought immense fulfillment and healing to some very deep parts of me.
As with all seasons, however, some plants survive, while others do not. Externally, winter was turning to spring while whispering wistfully of the summer that would come. Internally, I felt a swift cold front and all that naturally follows.
I was crying to God recently, lamenting all of the pain that I have been experiencing both with the death of this relationship and the ebb of other friendships and landmarks that have been very life-giving to me during my time here in Chicago. I was reckoning the fact that I am going to be leaving this place in a matter of months to begin a new journey in New York City, and while excited for the implications of that new journey, I was keenly aware of the deep loss that will accompany such a relocation. I experienced such a relocation 5 years ago, moving from Houston, TX to Chicago, IL for further pursuit of original theatre work, and while the rewards have been many and worth the cost, the loss and pain preceding the prize was immense. What was adding to my grief and frustration in the midst of my lament before God was the acute awareness of summer, with its festivals, its light, the myriad of joy in fellowship that it always brings...and the fact that my internal temperature was incongruent.
That same night, not long after, God spoke to me gently, saying, "David, this is a winter for you. You just came out of a glorious season, and it was beautiful in its time. Even so, this is a different season characterized by things dying so that other things can grow in their place when the next season begins. Embrace the season, knowing that it is not going to be easy, nor is it supposed to be---death and goodbyes are not fun---and you will experience greater peace in the midst of it."
Was God being morbid? No, I don't think so. He speaks often of the joy that we can have in the midst of abundance or lack and the joy that his presence brings whatever the circumstances. Just see the Psalms or any of Paul's writings for such descriptions. No, it wasn't morbidity that God was after when speaking to me about this season of death, but rather a mature, face-to-face look at the reality as it stood (and stands) at the present moment. This is not going to be easy, and my life is slowly shutting down in this place, so I should proceed in a manner appropriate to the season. You don't plant new seed in the middle of winter or expect a harvest in the middle of a snowstorm. (Yes, anything is possible with God, but I am speaking generally right now.) Funny enough, I did have more peace after recognizing this season and accepting it. Did I receive comfort in that moment? No. But I did receive some peace...and a bit of hope.
Accepting the season as a winter released me from feeling guilty about my lack of festivity and gaiety over the season of summer. It's summer on the outside, and while I will try to enjoy of it what I can, I need not feel bad about wanting it to be over. What I am experiencing is a normal progression, and God is with me in that, not expecting me to be in a place that I am not.
Here is the main reason this gives me such hope. If I am currently in a winter, that means that a springtime is coming soon when ice melts and new life bursts forth with the brilliance of a sunrise after a long, cold night. Ironically, my internal springtime will come in an external season which has always been so life-giving to me, that of the fall--also coinciding with my birthday, celebrating my third decade. What a perfect picture of death and rebirth, the ending of one year and the beginning of another.
Solomon had it right when he said that there is a time for everything, a season for every activity under the sun. I encourage you to consider what season you may be in right now and to ponder how you might work with that season, not against it. Would you wear a wintercoat in the heat of the summer? Or shorts in the winter? Check your soul...and if you can't figure out what season you're in, there is One who knows the weather of your life much better than you or I ever could. He can calm a storm in an instant, calling for peace until you current passage ends and a new one begins. Just ask Jesus. He might even invite you for drink of chai...and chai is good for every season. ;-)
" A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Imposter Emotions or How to Walk on Water
Imposters...What comes to your mind when you hear that? An image of unwanted guests breaking into your living space? Somebody hacking into your private information on a computer or other electronic device? How about an emotion?
Yes, you read correctly. Have you ever thought of emotions as imposters? I don't mean all emotions of course, as we all know that emotions are a normal and healthy part of the human life. But what if some emotions that are valid some of the time are, in fact, not valid all of the time? What if some are not actually ours to carry when they come? This is what I want to explore today, as I have had a recent discovery in this area that may be immensely helpful for anyone reading this. Sound interesting? Read on!
The modern (or post-modern), Western society of which I am a part seems to have gotten a very good grip on diagnosing emotions as a normal, healthy part of life as we know it, whereby the more we can be honest with what we are feeling, the better we can assess what is going on and how to move forward. Feeling joy? Be joyful! Feeling sorrow? Perhaps it is time to embrace that sorrow and grieve so that the emotion can have its proper place and joy can come again. But what of times when we feel something like sorrow, grief, or immense fear, seemingly out of no where and are suddenly ambushed by a barrage of negative feelings? Have you ever felt yourself crushed like this, and the more you flailed, the deeper you began to sink in the emotional quicksand, with what felt like little hope of getting out? I have. It is times like these that I think the imposters have come in, and the more sudden the relief, the greater the sign that it was an imposter emotion in the first place. Let me explain.
Two days ago, I read an email that triggered some negative emotions for me. Normal right? Yes, emotional triggers can be quite normal, especially when we are in a process of healing and some of our heartstrings are still tender in areas. However, the intensity of the emotions that I was feeling after being triggered was way beyond what felt appropriate given what I was reacting to and the real scenario at hand. It was as if I had taken a medical cocktail from Dr. Jekyll's personal stash, with sudden, swirling side effects of extreme pain, fear, and an incredibly intense desire to escape with little hope that anything I could do woud help. Sound crazy? It was. I had no reason to feel those intense emotions at that time, especially given what I was reacting to and the reality at hand. Soon enough, I realized that these emotions were not valid for those moments, as opposed to other difficult emotions that I had worked through in a previous grieving period. These, unlike those healthy emotions, were what I am calling the imposters; emotions that make us feel they are in their rightful place yet have no right to enter or stay where they have intruded.
You may now be asking, "How is he so sure that these were lying emotions? Sometimes we just feel what we feel."
Sometimes, yes. But sometimes, no...not at all. Here is part of why I think these were lying emotions and how we can expose them for what they are, towards removing them from where they are not welcome.
1. Healthy emotions, those in their rightful place, are productive. Whether joyful or painful, when we are experiencing emotions in the right way, I have found that they lead to something worthwhile. For instance, if the valid emotion is sorrow or deep grief, experiencing the grief and processing through it (whether through crying, ruminating, or whatever else) typically brings one to a place of release where what's necessary has been felt and the next wave of positive emotions like joy can enter again. Imposters, on the other hand, are not productive at all. They simply keep one stuck in an extreme with no promise of progressing towards something on the other end. This experience that I had the other day was just that.
2. Imposters exaggerate reality and twist it into something much larger than it actually is, making us feel small in the midst of whatever is being imposed upon us. These imposters are often fed when we give into speculation, feeding imaginations of what could be in a scenario (often negative) and what might have happened or will happen, versus looking at whatever facts are known. Healthy emotions, in my experience, often interact with what is known. Imposters, by contrast, offer heaps of the unknown, often presenting worse-case scenarios to partner with our imagination in one of the most destructive of ways. (I am speaking mainly of imposter emotions that mirror the negative. Those which mirror the positive would be best served by another discussion.)
3. Imposter emotions can be rid of quickly when they are dealt with as such. When we expose imposter emotions for what they are, we can readily kick them out, and the result is an expedient, marked shift in one's emotional atmosphere. The quick sand is suddenly dry ground, the tempestuous sky once riddled with dark clouds is surprisingly clear, and the light that has penetrated makes way for clarity of thought and vision. What was overwhelming moments before now seems preposterous, out of place, unnecessary.
How are we to deal with these imposters? As with many of my posts before, I would like to draw upon the wisdom of an age-old text here, one that has proven fruitful in helping me navigate life's complexities on multiple levels. The truth is that the way I got out of the clutches of the imposters I spoke of was by calling out to others and to Jesus in prayer. I have found Jesus to be very effective at driving out imposters, which in my belief sometimes equate with evil, harassing spirits, and other times turn out to be simply lying emotions. More often than not, I think it is a combination of the two. Regardless of what you believe the source of of imposter emotions is, here are two things that I did, both of which are based on practical, spiritual principals from the Bible.
1. Reach out for help. Isolation is a great envrionment for imposter emotions to continue their assault. King David, who experienced a great deal of hardship both before and during his kingship, wrote this in one of his songs to God:
"I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." -Psalm 16:8
Rather than isolating and looking inward, David would remember to look outside of himself to the presence of the One who was with him, even at his right hand. Sometimes this looks like reaching out to others to pray for us or encourage us as an extension of God's presence in our life.
2. Expose the lie, cast it down, and declare what's true. Remember what I wrote earlier about speculation and how imposter emotions often feed us heaping spoonfuls of the unknown? It's the equivalent of chewing on gravel; it hurts our teeth, can make us choke, and does nothing good for our digestive system. Speculative rumination is not productive. So determine what the speculations are, declare instead what is known and what is true, and tell those speculations to leave, that they no longer have any power to dominate with their phantom truths. Truth always overpowers the lie when truth is upheld. Often it is helpful or even required to have someone else work with us in separating the truth from the lies in a situation. Jesus is immensely helpful in this. Check out what he did for his friend and disciple Peter when Peter and the other disciples were taken aback by the sight of Jesus walking on the water:
"But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.'
'Lord, if it’s you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.'
'Come,' he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?' " -Matthew 14:27-31
There is so much to mine from this, but for our purpose here, I will simply point out that Peter was in a risky situation, allowed imposter emotions to get the better of him, and Jesus remedied that by catching him when he was sinking...IMMEDIATELY. Isn't that great? For those who look to Jesus, he will immediately catch us when we cry out to him. Often, he does bring us into situations that can naturally bring doubt, fear, or other difficult emotions. But none of these remain valid when Jesus is leading us into a situation as he was here, because we are safe with him. Jesus is king over fear.
Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament and experienced hardship after hardship, also knew the power of speculation and the greater power of bringing speculation to Jesus:
"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5
Once again, there is an emphasis on contrasting the unknown with the known, "speculations" versus "knowledge," and bringing speculation under the authority of one who can do something about it. That's what I did, with the help of my brother as we prayed on the phone the other day. The shift that took place was remarkable.
Wherever you are approaching this from, whether a purely naturalistic standpoint or including the spiritual as I have done (which I believe is the more holistic and complete route to full freedom in these areas), I would like to ask you, what imposter emotions might you be allowing in your life right now? What is valid for the present, and what is no longer necessary for your current emotional journey? And who is there to help you to expose the imposters? Who can you call out to? Might you see Jesus out there, seeking water-walkers like himself?
See you on the water.
Yes, you read correctly. Have you ever thought of emotions as imposters? I don't mean all emotions of course, as we all know that emotions are a normal and healthy part of the human life. But what if some emotions that are valid some of the time are, in fact, not valid all of the time? What if some are not actually ours to carry when they come? This is what I want to explore today, as I have had a recent discovery in this area that may be immensely helpful for anyone reading this. Sound interesting? Read on!
The modern (or post-modern), Western society of which I am a part seems to have gotten a very good grip on diagnosing emotions as a normal, healthy part of life as we know it, whereby the more we can be honest with what we are feeling, the better we can assess what is going on and how to move forward. Feeling joy? Be joyful! Feeling sorrow? Perhaps it is time to embrace that sorrow and grieve so that the emotion can have its proper place and joy can come again. But what of times when we feel something like sorrow, grief, or immense fear, seemingly out of no where and are suddenly ambushed by a barrage of negative feelings? Have you ever felt yourself crushed like this, and the more you flailed, the deeper you began to sink in the emotional quicksand, with what felt like little hope of getting out? I have. It is times like these that I think the imposters have come in, and the more sudden the relief, the greater the sign that it was an imposter emotion in the first place. Let me explain.
Two days ago, I read an email that triggered some negative emotions for me. Normal right? Yes, emotional triggers can be quite normal, especially when we are in a process of healing and some of our heartstrings are still tender in areas. However, the intensity of the emotions that I was feeling after being triggered was way beyond what felt appropriate given what I was reacting to and the real scenario at hand. It was as if I had taken a medical cocktail from Dr. Jekyll's personal stash, with sudden, swirling side effects of extreme pain, fear, and an incredibly intense desire to escape with little hope that anything I could do woud help. Sound crazy? It was. I had no reason to feel those intense emotions at that time, especially given what I was reacting to and the reality at hand. Soon enough, I realized that these emotions were not valid for those moments, as opposed to other difficult emotions that I had worked through in a previous grieving period. These, unlike those healthy emotions, were what I am calling the imposters; emotions that make us feel they are in their rightful place yet have no right to enter or stay where they have intruded.
You may now be asking, "How is he so sure that these were lying emotions? Sometimes we just feel what we feel."
Sometimes, yes. But sometimes, no...not at all. Here is part of why I think these were lying emotions and how we can expose them for what they are, towards removing them from where they are not welcome.
1. Healthy emotions, those in their rightful place, are productive. Whether joyful or painful, when we are experiencing emotions in the right way, I have found that they lead to something worthwhile. For instance, if the valid emotion is sorrow or deep grief, experiencing the grief and processing through it (whether through crying, ruminating, or whatever else) typically brings one to a place of release where what's necessary has been felt and the next wave of positive emotions like joy can enter again. Imposters, on the other hand, are not productive at all. They simply keep one stuck in an extreme with no promise of progressing towards something on the other end. This experience that I had the other day was just that.
2. Imposters exaggerate reality and twist it into something much larger than it actually is, making us feel small in the midst of whatever is being imposed upon us. These imposters are often fed when we give into speculation, feeding imaginations of what could be in a scenario (often negative) and what might have happened or will happen, versus looking at whatever facts are known. Healthy emotions, in my experience, often interact with what is known. Imposters, by contrast, offer heaps of the unknown, often presenting worse-case scenarios to partner with our imagination in one of the most destructive of ways. (I am speaking mainly of imposter emotions that mirror the negative. Those which mirror the positive would be best served by another discussion.)
3. Imposter emotions can be rid of quickly when they are dealt with as such. When we expose imposter emotions for what they are, we can readily kick them out, and the result is an expedient, marked shift in one's emotional atmosphere. The quick sand is suddenly dry ground, the tempestuous sky once riddled with dark clouds is surprisingly clear, and the light that has penetrated makes way for clarity of thought and vision. What was overwhelming moments before now seems preposterous, out of place, unnecessary.
How are we to deal with these imposters? As with many of my posts before, I would like to draw upon the wisdom of an age-old text here, one that has proven fruitful in helping me navigate life's complexities on multiple levels. The truth is that the way I got out of the clutches of the imposters I spoke of was by calling out to others and to Jesus in prayer. I have found Jesus to be very effective at driving out imposters, which in my belief sometimes equate with evil, harassing spirits, and other times turn out to be simply lying emotions. More often than not, I think it is a combination of the two. Regardless of what you believe the source of of imposter emotions is, here are two things that I did, both of which are based on practical, spiritual principals from the Bible.
1. Reach out for help. Isolation is a great envrionment for imposter emotions to continue their assault. King David, who experienced a great deal of hardship both before and during his kingship, wrote this in one of his songs to God:
"I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." -Psalm 16:8
Rather than isolating and looking inward, David would remember to look outside of himself to the presence of the One who was with him, even at his right hand. Sometimes this looks like reaching out to others to pray for us or encourage us as an extension of God's presence in our life.
2. Expose the lie, cast it down, and declare what's true. Remember what I wrote earlier about speculation and how imposter emotions often feed us heaping spoonfuls of the unknown? It's the equivalent of chewing on gravel; it hurts our teeth, can make us choke, and does nothing good for our digestive system. Speculative rumination is not productive. So determine what the speculations are, declare instead what is known and what is true, and tell those speculations to leave, that they no longer have any power to dominate with their phantom truths. Truth always overpowers the lie when truth is upheld. Often it is helpful or even required to have someone else work with us in separating the truth from the lies in a situation. Jesus is immensely helpful in this. Check out what he did for his friend and disciple Peter when Peter and the other disciples were taken aback by the sight of Jesus walking on the water:
"But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.'
'Lord, if it’s you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.'
'Come,' he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?' " -Matthew 14:27-31
There is so much to mine from this, but for our purpose here, I will simply point out that Peter was in a risky situation, allowed imposter emotions to get the better of him, and Jesus remedied that by catching him when he was sinking...IMMEDIATELY. Isn't that great? For those who look to Jesus, he will immediately catch us when we cry out to him. Often, he does bring us into situations that can naturally bring doubt, fear, or other difficult emotions. But none of these remain valid when Jesus is leading us into a situation as he was here, because we are safe with him. Jesus is king over fear.
Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament and experienced hardship after hardship, also knew the power of speculation and the greater power of bringing speculation to Jesus:
"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5
Once again, there is an emphasis on contrasting the unknown with the known, "speculations" versus "knowledge," and bringing speculation under the authority of one who can do something about it. That's what I did, with the help of my brother as we prayed on the phone the other day. The shift that took place was remarkable.
Wherever you are approaching this from, whether a purely naturalistic standpoint or including the spiritual as I have done (which I believe is the more holistic and complete route to full freedom in these areas), I would like to ask you, what imposter emotions might you be allowing in your life right now? What is valid for the present, and what is no longer necessary for your current emotional journey? And who is there to help you to expose the imposters? Who can you call out to? Might you see Jesus out there, seeking water-walkers like himself?
See you on the water.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Steeping...
Today I want to explore the very unpopular topic of WAITING. This is something that I am not too good at yet something I am still forced to do, given the fact that there are many desires that have yet to be fulfilled in my life. Our one-click-away, microwave-and-its-ready culture (here in America) has made it easier for me to resist the practice of waiting. But I am starting to wonder if NOT waiting requires one to wait even longer. Let's take a look.
In my last post, I talked about resource and looking to Jesus to satisfy the deeper needs behind our needs on the surface. But this kind of dependence implies the need to reliquish control of getting needs met ourselves and waiting on someone else to do it for us. That doesn't sound too inviting when experience all too often tells us that others take too long, that they can't be trusted to do things right, or that they may not come through at all. Better to trust yourself, do it yourself, and get it done right. Right?
There's this prophet named Isaiah who, by the Biblical account, was sent by God to the ancient Israelites to reset their destructive course. Many times, the Israelites looked to others or to themselves to get things done, and this almost always in a way that was contrary to God's way of doing things. Often the ways in which they would do things ended up in selfish behavior to the detriment of others, and ultimately themselves. They were caught in a cycle of self worship and idol worship, looking to themselves and other things to get their needs met. But the results were always deceiving or temporary at best. In this context, God provides glimpses of another way through the cries and declarations of Isaiah, such as this description of how God worked for his people before:
"For when you did awesome things that we did not expect, you came down, and the mountains trembled before you. Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." -Isaiah 64:3-4
In this description of God, I am struck by the idea that he does things that his people do not expect, awesome things in fact. So often, I want to know what's coming and therefore try to act on my own so that I know what is happening. Control. But God here goes beyond and does things that we do NOT expect, awesome things at that. Many times, his surprises are much better than our pre-conceived plans of what will make us feel better.
I'm also struck by the last part that says that God is one who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. Is the converse then true, that he does not act for those who do not wait for him or trust him to come through?
Here's a description elsewhere of what it looks like when trusting in God as the ultimate resource:
Isaiah 30:15 : "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."
Israel was trusting in abnormal ways of getting their needs met: oppression, deceit, unhealthy alliances, and God said that all of that striving would get them nowhere. Rather, their solution would be in turning from those ways and in resting, in quiet trust. It seems that a solution was offered, but they denied the offer for help by their refusal to quiet their busy lives and stop their striving to take control.
Is the solution any different for us? In what ways are we trusting in things other than God and acting in ways that are harmful to ourselves and to others in order to get what we want? I'll tell you for my own part, it's not working. More and more I'm ready to try out this quiet trust, this restfulness that says, "Okay God, I'll wait. I'll do it your way. Show me what you're doing, and help me to follow in that, even if it takes longer."
Would you rather have home-brewed chai that may take a good while to make, or a few minute steep from a tepid tea bag? Or if God decides to act quickly with a good quality 5 minute tea bag, are you willing to wait the full 5 minutes for a proper steeping? The longer the wait, the greater the strength, the richer the taste, and better the chai.
God knows microwaved tea is an unsatisfying option. He'd rather we drink the good stuff.
In my last post, I talked about resource and looking to Jesus to satisfy the deeper needs behind our needs on the surface. But this kind of dependence implies the need to reliquish control of getting needs met ourselves and waiting on someone else to do it for us. That doesn't sound too inviting when experience all too often tells us that others take too long, that they can't be trusted to do things right, or that they may not come through at all. Better to trust yourself, do it yourself, and get it done right. Right?
There's this prophet named Isaiah who, by the Biblical account, was sent by God to the ancient Israelites to reset their destructive course. Many times, the Israelites looked to others or to themselves to get things done, and this almost always in a way that was contrary to God's way of doing things. Often the ways in which they would do things ended up in selfish behavior to the detriment of others, and ultimately themselves. They were caught in a cycle of self worship and idol worship, looking to themselves and other things to get their needs met. But the results were always deceiving or temporary at best. In this context, God provides glimpses of another way through the cries and declarations of Isaiah, such as this description of how God worked for his people before:
"For when you did awesome things that we did not expect, you came down, and the mountains trembled before you. Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." -Isaiah 64:3-4
In this description of God, I am struck by the idea that he does things that his people do not expect, awesome things in fact. So often, I want to know what's coming and therefore try to act on my own so that I know what is happening. Control. But God here goes beyond and does things that we do NOT expect, awesome things at that. Many times, his surprises are much better than our pre-conceived plans of what will make us feel better.
I'm also struck by the last part that says that God is one who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. Is the converse then true, that he does not act for those who do not wait for him or trust him to come through?
Here's a description elsewhere of what it looks like when trusting in God as the ultimate resource:
Isaiah 30:15 : "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."
Israel was trusting in abnormal ways of getting their needs met: oppression, deceit, unhealthy alliances, and God said that all of that striving would get them nowhere. Rather, their solution would be in turning from those ways and in resting, in quiet trust. It seems that a solution was offered, but they denied the offer for help by their refusal to quiet their busy lives and stop their striving to take control.
Is the solution any different for us? In what ways are we trusting in things other than God and acting in ways that are harmful to ourselves and to others in order to get what we want? I'll tell you for my own part, it's not working. More and more I'm ready to try out this quiet trust, this restfulness that says, "Okay God, I'll wait. I'll do it your way. Show me what you're doing, and help me to follow in that, even if it takes longer."
Would you rather have home-brewed chai that may take a good while to make, or a few minute steep from a tepid tea bag? Or if God decides to act quickly with a good quality 5 minute tea bag, are you willing to wait the full 5 minutes for a proper steeping? The longer the wait, the greater the strength, the richer the taste, and better the chai.
God knows microwaved tea is an unsatisfying option. He'd rather we drink the good stuff.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
New Challenge, Old Mandate (or Theatre for the Poor)
I was challenged in the last 24 hours by something two artists mentioned about artists and poverty. Their words, ruminating in my mind, along with some others that have been swimming there for awhile and some words about the poor that I read in the book of Job today, provoked a new question in me:
What does it mean to CREATE THEATRE FOR THE POOR? More broadly, one could ask what it would take to create ART for the poor, but being a theatre artist myself, I would like to focus the question on the theatrical world. Before trying to answer the question of what it means or even how to create theatre for the poor, I would like to present some foundations for WHY this kind of theatre-making is necessary.
Much of what I am about to say is based on the teachings of Jesus and a Biblical worldview, but I welcome others to engage in this exploration who are not of that mindset, as this should be fairly universal. If you prefer to skip over the Bible verses related to the poor, you may scroll down a bit for further exploration.
So, WHY should we create theatre for the poor?
1. God cares about the poor. There are countless examples throughout history of God's deep concern and advocacy for the poor.
Psalm 82:3 says, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed."
Psalm 140:12 says, "I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor."
Isaiah 41:17 says, "The afflicted and needy are seeking water, but there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst. I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, as the God of Israel I will not forsake them."
In Luke 6:20-21 Jesus says, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."
There is so much more I could list here, but allow me to proceed to the next point.
2. Loving the Poor is at the very core of loving and living like God. It is one of his highest priorities.
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27.
"Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?" -Is. 58:66
3. In loving Jesus, we are loving the poor. If we are excluding the poor from our theatre, are we not at some level excluding Jesus?
"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’- Matthew 25:40
Look at his response to others in Matthew 25:44-45. “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’"
4. Jesus emptied himself of his riches to pour it out on all of us, the poor in spirit. And his mission had the poor and outcast its center.
Luke 4:16-21. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read... "The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He appointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD... Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."
Rather than load you down with a barrage of Bible verses, I would like to unpack some of my thinking on this in the form of questions I am ruminating.
Given that live theatre is typically more expensive to go see than watching a movie, are we as theatre artists really making theatre accessible to the poor among us? Sure, we have industry tickets which help the poor amongst our own kind (other actors, designers, stage managers, etc.), but what of those outside of our artistic community who lack the means to pay the ticket prices often necessary for a decent show?
I think of Broadway, or Vegas shows from Cirque du Soleil and Blue Man Group. Or I think of local groups (specific theatres I will not mention here) who charge $20.00 or more to go see one of their productions. And I am not faulting them for this. It takes money to create good work. But then what does that mean for the patrons we are allowing to come see our work? The socio-economic factors automatically rule out a good deal of the community who is just deserving and perhaps even more in need of good theatre than the rest of us who typically get to see it. How do we solve this problem?
I was moved by a scene from the movie "Finding Neverland" years ago, in which Johnny Depp's character, J.M. Barry, asks one of his associates to find as many children as he can from off of the streets to fill the seats of his theatre for the opening of "Peter Pan." It seemed that Barry was purposely integrating these children, "the least of these" so to speak, with the well-to-do adult audience members in order to create a theatrical experience that would be richer for BOTH parties. The children were delighted by the story and an entertainment form that they might not have otherwise gotten to experience, and the adults in the room were likewise invited into an experience that they would not have enjoyed otherwise; the pure joy of being child-like. The children in this audience were actually helping to inform how the adults in the room could freely respond to the action taking place on stage. As a result of this genius combination, the well-to-do audience members got it. They were able to laugh and engage in the play along with their "lesser" counter-parts. And in those moments, they were able to find a common ground, whether conscious of it or not.
Now, I am not suggesting that we always put children and adults together in the audience as a way to create a magical theatrical experience (though you would be surprised at what this combination can do even in this day and age). Rather, I think the scene from "Finding Neverland" serves as a wonderful image of the benefit that can come in serving more than one audience type, the haves and the have-nots. And I dare to say that as we do so more and more, we will find that the have-nots are really the "haves" in some respect, offering so much more to the larger community than what we might expect.
So this begs the question. How are we to create theatre for the poor? Does this mean that we eliminate ticket prices altogether? Or make ticket prices so low that even the poorest of the poor will not have a hard time scrounging up the extra change needed to get a seat? How might this affect the production quality of the work being presented? Should theatre for the poor be limited to poor quality theatre? If the rich of the world (which I suggest are you and I reading this) are privy to stellar entertainment experiences, should the poor receive anything less? If we are accustomed to a nice Italian dinner every now and then, should the poor's experience be relegated to out-of-the-box Mac 'N Cheese, just because it's cheaper?
I don't know what the solution is. But I am committed to finding out. I hope to find others who are willing to explore this with me. I would love to create Cirque du Soleil quality work that anyone can access, poor or not. It will take something miraculous and radical, I am sure. Sounds to me like an adventure worth pursuing!
What does it mean to CREATE THEATRE FOR THE POOR? More broadly, one could ask what it would take to create ART for the poor, but being a theatre artist myself, I would like to focus the question on the theatrical world. Before trying to answer the question of what it means or even how to create theatre for the poor, I would like to present some foundations for WHY this kind of theatre-making is necessary.
Much of what I am about to say is based on the teachings of Jesus and a Biblical worldview, but I welcome others to engage in this exploration who are not of that mindset, as this should be fairly universal. If you prefer to skip over the Bible verses related to the poor, you may scroll down a bit for further exploration.
So, WHY should we create theatre for the poor?
1. God cares about the poor. There are countless examples throughout history of God's deep concern and advocacy for the poor.
Psalm 82:3 says, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed."
Psalm 140:12 says, "I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor."
Isaiah 41:17 says, "The afflicted and needy are seeking water, but there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst. I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, as the God of Israel I will not forsake them."
In Luke 6:20-21 Jesus says, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."
There is so much more I could list here, but allow me to proceed to the next point.
2. Loving the Poor is at the very core of loving and living like God. It is one of his highest priorities.
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27.
"Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?" -Is. 58:66
3. In loving Jesus, we are loving the poor. If we are excluding the poor from our theatre, are we not at some level excluding Jesus?
"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’- Matthew 25:40
Look at his response to others in Matthew 25:44-45. “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’"
4. Jesus emptied himself of his riches to pour it out on all of us, the poor in spirit. And his mission had the poor and outcast its center.
Luke 4:16-21. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read... "The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He appointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD... Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."
Rather than load you down with a barrage of Bible verses, I would like to unpack some of my thinking on this in the form of questions I am ruminating.
Given that live theatre is typically more expensive to go see than watching a movie, are we as theatre artists really making theatre accessible to the poor among us? Sure, we have industry tickets which help the poor amongst our own kind (other actors, designers, stage managers, etc.), but what of those outside of our artistic community who lack the means to pay the ticket prices often necessary for a decent show?
I think of Broadway, or Vegas shows from Cirque du Soleil and Blue Man Group. Or I think of local groups (specific theatres I will not mention here) who charge $20.00 or more to go see one of their productions. And I am not faulting them for this. It takes money to create good work. But then what does that mean for the patrons we are allowing to come see our work? The socio-economic factors automatically rule out a good deal of the community who is just deserving and perhaps even more in need of good theatre than the rest of us who typically get to see it. How do we solve this problem?
I was moved by a scene from the movie "Finding Neverland" years ago, in which Johnny Depp's character, J.M. Barry, asks one of his associates to find as many children as he can from off of the streets to fill the seats of his theatre for the opening of "Peter Pan." It seemed that Barry was purposely integrating these children, "the least of these" so to speak, with the well-to-do adult audience members in order to create a theatrical experience that would be richer for BOTH parties. The children were delighted by the story and an entertainment form that they might not have otherwise gotten to experience, and the adults in the room were likewise invited into an experience that they would not have enjoyed otherwise; the pure joy of being child-like. The children in this audience were actually helping to inform how the adults in the room could freely respond to the action taking place on stage. As a result of this genius combination, the well-to-do audience members got it. They were able to laugh and engage in the play along with their "lesser" counter-parts. And in those moments, they were able to find a common ground, whether conscious of it or not.
Now, I am not suggesting that we always put children and adults together in the audience as a way to create a magical theatrical experience (though you would be surprised at what this combination can do even in this day and age). Rather, I think the scene from "Finding Neverland" serves as a wonderful image of the benefit that can come in serving more than one audience type, the haves and the have-nots. And I dare to say that as we do so more and more, we will find that the have-nots are really the "haves" in some respect, offering so much more to the larger community than what we might expect.
So this begs the question. How are we to create theatre for the poor? Does this mean that we eliminate ticket prices altogether? Or make ticket prices so low that even the poorest of the poor will not have a hard time scrounging up the extra change needed to get a seat? How might this affect the production quality of the work being presented? Should theatre for the poor be limited to poor quality theatre? If the rich of the world (which I suggest are you and I reading this) are privy to stellar entertainment experiences, should the poor receive anything less? If we are accustomed to a nice Italian dinner every now and then, should the poor's experience be relegated to out-of-the-box Mac 'N Cheese, just because it's cheaper?
I don't know what the solution is. But I am committed to finding out. I hope to find others who are willing to explore this with me. I would love to create Cirque du Soleil quality work that anyone can access, poor or not. It will take something miraculous and radical, I am sure. Sounds to me like an adventure worth pursuing!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Autumnal Spring in the Winter
What change a year can bring! I am convinced that life comes in seasons, just like the weather can change so drastically from one degree and color to another. A year ago this time I was struggling for full-time work and in the midst of a major desert period. I heard rumblings of rain, the words of those I trust speaking of a plentiful springtime to come. Seems the spring came a year later...but it came nonetheless in what has been one of the most beautiful falls I have ever experienced.
Winter is now approaching or may very well be upon us, but it feels like a further extension of this springtime I speak of. Whereas last year I was concerned with how to find more substantial work and how to get into the school system substitute teaching, now I am enjoying regular full-time work and preparing to enter the schools as a touring theatre artist.
Last year this time I had only the faint beginnings of a partially written kids show. Now I have completed several drafts of a full-length script for "King David: LIVE!" which I have been able to workshop and present in small increments around Chicagoland raising funds toward the full production.
Doubts abound when one lives by what is clearly visible. My doubts as to whether or not God would allow me to stay in Chicago, whether he would continue to provide for me here in pursuit of my dream, his dream, our theatrical dream together, rose and fell at different times like the temperature outside. But over the past year, he has also taught me how to work with the inner thermostat, such that the outside elements of cold, hot, wind and rain (or lack thereof, mostly), have less of a mal-effect on this tree he has planted. I'm taking root, and it's his plan. So I'm okay. And I will thrive, rain or shine, snow or no snow. But there will be snow. And this tree will blossom in it.
Come now, winter, and extend this springtime with your icy, snowy blasts! The Snowman Awaits!
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything (NIV translation)
" 1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
Winter is now approaching or may very well be upon us, but it feels like a further extension of this springtime I speak of. Whereas last year I was concerned with how to find more substantial work and how to get into the school system substitute teaching, now I am enjoying regular full-time work and preparing to enter the schools as a touring theatre artist.
Last year this time I had only the faint beginnings of a partially written kids show. Now I have completed several drafts of a full-length script for "King David: LIVE!" which I have been able to workshop and present in small increments around Chicagoland raising funds toward the full production.
Doubts abound when one lives by what is clearly visible. My doubts as to whether or not God would allow me to stay in Chicago, whether he would continue to provide for me here in pursuit of my dream, his dream, our theatrical dream together, rose and fell at different times like the temperature outside. But over the past year, he has also taught me how to work with the inner thermostat, such that the outside elements of cold, hot, wind and rain (or lack thereof, mostly), have less of a mal-effect on this tree he has planted. I'm taking root, and it's his plan. So I'm okay. And I will thrive, rain or shine, snow or no snow. But there will be snow. And this tree will blossom in it.
Come now, winter, and extend this springtime with your icy, snowy blasts! The Snowman Awaits!
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything (NIV translation)
" 1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Enjoying the Process (or Drinking with Jesus)
I've been feeling heavy this morning and much of yesterday as well. I've wanted to get so much done and have actually been somewhat productive but still lacking the greater results I want to see. I have been seeking God for solutions, answers, revelation. And what I got just awhile ago was so much better.
I had it all planned. I was going to wake up early today (which I did), read my Bible part of the time (which I did), and do some strategic planning with God to create more structure in my life and hopefully a more productive day-to-day lifestyle. This strategic planning hasn't happened yet. I thought A and B would lead to C, but the thing is that A and B left me high and dry. And it's not that waking up early and reading my Bible were bad things. Those are good things! But Jesus showed me that instead of searching the Scriptures for him, I was just looking for answers, solutions, results. Is that bad? Not entirely. God is full of answers. He calls us to seek wisdom, search it out, all that good stuff. But my primary motive was off. I was seeking him, but not so much for him. More of a side-thought to get what I really wanted: more clarity, more results, more progress.
As none of this was bearing any fruit (not to my knowledge anyway), I decided to pop in a CD that had a sermon on it a friend gave me from Bethel church (www.ibethel.org), the title being "Enjoying the Process." It was about how we're so results oriented in our western mindsets that we often get sidetracked from just enjoying the process with God, getting to know him, BEING with him. And I began to cry as I realized I wasn't seeking Jesus this morning as much as the results he might give me.
Here's a thought. Who of your best friends, or let's say best long-distance friends, have you had the best time with? And what are you doing in that time? Are you actually DOING something? Or is most of the good stuff happening in the being, the talking, the sharing of life? How much of what's going on, whether in person or on the phone, is instructional, and how much is simply relational? As for me, why do I feel like more often than not, if I'm gonna get something from God, it's got to be instructional? Don't get me wrong, I know the Bible speaks of God confiding in those who fear him. He makes known the paths of life, he teaches us truth, etc. But is that limited to didactic truth? Might some of that life, that truth, that knowledge include things like, "This is why I love the color green," or "You are so beautiful to me, " or "I want to share with you the joy of making a snowman" ?
Process. Jesus. Process. I don't want to just feel the effects of the caffeine pulsating through my veins, waking me up and making me happy. I want to participate in making the Chai, peeling the ginger, crushing the cardamom, watching the cinnamon sticks simmer with the black tea as it creates a lush rue before adding the creamy delight. I want to taste the tea on my tongue, embracing every spice, and swallow. I want to drink Chai with Jesus. I want to drink him in. Would you like to drink with us?
I had it all planned. I was going to wake up early today (which I did), read my Bible part of the time (which I did), and do some strategic planning with God to create more structure in my life and hopefully a more productive day-to-day lifestyle. This strategic planning hasn't happened yet. I thought A and B would lead to C, but the thing is that A and B left me high and dry. And it's not that waking up early and reading my Bible were bad things. Those are good things! But Jesus showed me that instead of searching the Scriptures for him, I was just looking for answers, solutions, results. Is that bad? Not entirely. God is full of answers. He calls us to seek wisdom, search it out, all that good stuff. But my primary motive was off. I was seeking him, but not so much for him. More of a side-thought to get what I really wanted: more clarity, more results, more progress.
As none of this was bearing any fruit (not to my knowledge anyway), I decided to pop in a CD that had a sermon on it a friend gave me from Bethel church (www.ibethel.org), the title being "Enjoying the Process." It was about how we're so results oriented in our western mindsets that we often get sidetracked from just enjoying the process with God, getting to know him, BEING with him. And I began to cry as I realized I wasn't seeking Jesus this morning as much as the results he might give me.
Here's a thought. Who of your best friends, or let's say best long-distance friends, have you had the best time with? And what are you doing in that time? Are you actually DOING something? Or is most of the good stuff happening in the being, the talking, the sharing of life? How much of what's going on, whether in person or on the phone, is instructional, and how much is simply relational? As for me, why do I feel like more often than not, if I'm gonna get something from God, it's got to be instructional? Don't get me wrong, I know the Bible speaks of God confiding in those who fear him. He makes known the paths of life, he teaches us truth, etc. But is that limited to didactic truth? Might some of that life, that truth, that knowledge include things like, "This is why I love the color green," or "You are so beautiful to me, " or "I want to share with you the joy of making a snowman" ?
Process. Jesus. Process. I don't want to just feel the effects of the caffeine pulsating through my veins, waking me up and making me happy. I want to participate in making the Chai, peeling the ginger, crushing the cardamom, watching the cinnamon sticks simmer with the black tea as it creates a lush rue before adding the creamy delight. I want to taste the tea on my tongue, embracing every spice, and swallow. I want to drink Chai with Jesus. I want to drink him in. Would you like to drink with us?
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