Revolution of Chai

New Challenge, Old Mandate (or Theatre for the Poor)

2012-01-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

I was challenged in the last 24 hours by something two artists mentioned about artists and poverty. Their words, ruminating in my mind, along with some others that have been swimming there for awhile and some words about the poor that I read in the book of Job today, provoked a new question in me:

What does it mean to CREATE THEATRE FOR THE POOR? More broadly, one could ask what it would take to create ART for the poor, but being a theatre artist myself, I would like to focus the question on the theatrical world. Before trying to answer the question of what it means or even how to create theatre for the poor, I would like to present some foundations for WHY this kind of theatre-making is necessary.

Much of what I am about to say is based on the teachings of Jesus and a Biblical worldview, but I welcome others to engage in this exploration who are not of that mindset, as this should be fairly universal. If you prefer to skip over the Bible verses related to the poor, you may scroll down a bit for further exploration.

So, WHY should we create theatre for the poor?

1. God cares about the poor. There are countless examples throughout history of God's deep concern and advocacy for the poor.

Psalm 82:3 says, "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed."

Psalm 140:12 says, "I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor."

Isaiah 41:17 says, "The afflicted and needy are seeking water, but there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst. I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, as the God of Israel I will not forsake them."

In Luke 6:20-21 Jesus says, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."

There is so much more I could list here, but allow me to proceed to the next point.

2. Loving the Poor is at the very core of loving and living like God. It is one of his highest priorities.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27.

"Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and break every yoke? Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into the house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?" -Is. 58:66

3. In loving Jesus, we are loving the poor. If we are excluding the poor from our theatre, are we not at some level excluding Jesus?

"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’- Matthew 25:40

Look at his response to others in Matthew 25:44-45. “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’"

4. Jesus emptied himself of his riches to pour it out on all of us, the poor in spirit. And his mission had the poor and outcast its center.

Luke 4:16-21. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read... "The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He appointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD... Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."

Rather than load you down with a barrage of Bible verses, I would like to unpack some of my thinking on this in the form of questions I am ruminating.

Given that live theatre is typically more expensive to go see than watching a movie, are we as theatre artists really making theatre accessible to the poor among us? Sure, we have industry tickets which help the poor amongst our own kind (other actors, designers, stage managers, etc.), but what of those outside of our artistic community who lack the means to pay the ticket prices often necessary for a decent show?

I think of Broadway, or Vegas shows from Cirque du Soleil and Blue Man Group. Or I think of local groups (specific theatres I will not mention here) who charge $20.00 or more to go see one of their productions. And I am not faulting them for this. It takes money to create good work. But then what does that mean for the patrons we are allowing to come see our work? The socio-economic factors automatically rule out a good deal of the community who is just deserving and perhaps even more in need of good theatre than the rest of us who typically get to see it. How do we solve this problem?

I was moved by a scene from the movie "Finding Neverland" years ago, in which Johnny Depp's character, J.M. Barry, asks one of his associates to find as many children as he can from off of the streets to fill the seats of his theatre for the opening of "Peter Pan." It seemed that Barry was purposely integrating these children, "the least of these" so to speak, with the well-to-do adult audience members in order to create a theatrical experience that would be richer for BOTH parties. The children were delighted by the story and an entertainment form that they might not have otherwise gotten to experience, and the adults in the room were likewise invited into an experience that they would not have enjoyed otherwise; the pure joy of being child-like. The children in this audience were actually helping to inform how the adults in the room could freely respond to the action taking place on stage. As a result of this genius combination, the well-to-do audience members got it. They were able to laugh and engage in the play along with their "lesser" counter-parts. And in those moments, they were able to find a common ground, whether conscious of it or not.

Now, I am not suggesting that we always put children and adults together in the audience as a way to create a magical theatrical experience (though you would be surprised at what this combination can do even in this day and age). Rather, I think the scene from "Finding Neverland" serves as a wonderful image of the benefit that can come in serving more than one audience type, the haves and the have-nots. And I dare to say that as we do so more and more, we will find that the have-nots are really the "haves" in some respect, offering so much more to the larger community than what we might expect.

So this begs the question. How are we to create theatre for the poor? Does this mean that we eliminate ticket prices altogether? Or make ticket prices so low that even the poorest of the poor will not have a hard time scrounging up the extra change needed to get a seat? How might this affect the production quality of the work being presented? Should theatre for the poor be limited to poor quality theatre? If the rich of the world (which I suggest are you and I reading this) are privy to stellar entertainment experiences, should the poor receive anything less? If we are accustomed to a nice Italian dinner every now and then, should the poor's experience be relegated to out-of-the-box Mac 'N Cheese, just because it's cheaper?

I don't know what the solution is. But I am committed to finding out. I hope to find others who are willing to explore this with me. I would love to create Cirque du Soleil quality work that anyone can access, poor or not. It will take something miraculous and radical, I am sure. Sounds to me like an adventure worth pursuing!

2011: Open Heaven....Part I

2011-12-31T18:35:00.000-08:00

Every year, I ask God what his theme is for me for the new year. For 2011 it was "Open Heaven." What this meant, based on some other things that God had been sharing with me, was that 2011 was to be a year full of blessings pouring down from heaven, as if it was opened up and the goodness couldn't help but drop from above. I felt that he was going to bless me in some specific ways related to my theatrical pursuits, which he did. As 2012 is dawning, I want to take a few moments to acknowledge some of the wonderful things God did in relation to opening heaven for me this past year.2011 began somewhat dry, having experienced a flurry of activity the previous fall related to workshopping my new kids musical, King David: LIVE! through what I called the "Pre-Premiere Performance Tour." We weren't going to begin rehearsals for the full production of King David: LIVE! until sometime in March of 2011, so there was a gap of time where seemingly nothing was going on creatively. However, where a few months prior I got to taste a flurry, God has a full-on BLIZZARD in store for me, and he prophesied it through an ACTUAL BLIZZARD in February, on Groundhog Day.Blizzard------> Open Heaven? YES INDEED! Some of my readers may know that I have prayed for snow for many years from a very early age, having lived in Houston, Texas (land of no snow) for much of my growing up life. So when a blizzard came to Chicago earlier this year, I couldn't help but proudly claim the blame for it. I had been praying for snow for years, even a blizzard at different times, and God just decided to dump it on me in a city that could handle it. Houston would have been shut down for weeks if not more, had something like this occurred there. So there was that. And I LOVED it. Open Heaven #1.Open Heaven#2: God gave me my first theatrical team here in Chicago. Inviting Chris Leck aboard for the King David: LIVE! workshops was a first step in this direction back in the Fall of 2010, but when I turned the show into a three-person piece and Kylie Edmonds came aboard, the magic number 3 made it feel more official. I had my first team of theatre artists who were going to help me get a show up in Chicago, and my first full, professional play at that. I was so excited.Open Heaven#3: After much rehearsing, we still needed to gather our materials for props, costumes, set, etc. to get King David: LIVE! up and running. God gave me a very fun and talented costume designer in Kylie, with whom I went rummaging through clothing racks at thrift stores and a few other places to find affordable, workable costume solutions. A director friend of mine just happened to have a pipe and drape system that we were able to borrow, and Chris, my other actor, still had a solid drop that he had made for a previous show. When we set that drop up for the first time in my apartment with the pipe system, I knew what was coming next....We were really going to premiere this thing. Time for Open Heaven #4.Open Heaven #4: God graciously provided me with the right connections and direction to go for professional advertisement of the show, and that combined with further grace resulted in a SELL-OUT house for the premiere performance of King David: LIVE! at Gorilla Tango Theatre. My first fully finished production, professionally produced, and the first performance sold out! How perfect, how very gracious of my God to do this for me! We actually had to turn people away because there were no more seats available. The following performance did not sell out, but we still broke even for that premiere weekend, and the whole experience felt like such a reward and gift. Odd combination I suppose, but that's how it felt. Open Heaven #5: As part of the advertising campaign, my friend Joel McGinty crafted a very nice video promo for me for King David: LIVE! At a time of discouragement when there was little activity in January and February, seeing this promo further bolstered my hope and faith that this was a production that was about to take flight and was worth going after this year.Open Heaven #5: My brother Joshua who helped me move to Chicago over 3 years ago got to visit me for the first time since the relocation, and he was able to witness all of the blessing being poured out on me. He took part in that himself, and it was very good to have him.Open Heaven #6: My brother Ivan's wife, Rachel, made a professional website for me to further promote King David: LIVE! You can see it at www.kingdavidlive.com Open Heaven #7: After premiering KDL in May, we got a professional booking at a local community center two weeks later, and we were also able to do a mini performance at a private school that just happened to have a HUGE, professional theatre space. We're talking raked seating, wireless mic system, the works. I believe this was a foretaste of bookings to come.Open Heaven #8: In September, we launched a huge campaign to further promote bookings of KDL in schools, churches, synagogues, and anywhere else that may want to awaken heroes and history makers in the next generation (that's the purpose of the show in its broad scope). While this second weekend of performances did not do as well as the opening weekends in terms of ticket sales, it provided my team and I the opportunity to develop the show further, adding some new and better costumes and props, fine-tuning our performances, and we got some additional photos and video to use on the KDL website as well. Additionally, we were able to make some important connections with institutions that may prove to be an important bridge builder for future performances of the show down the line, including one at a Willow Creek church this coming year, 2012.Open Heaven #9...I am going to have to continue this in a part two, as I about to celebrate the closing of 2011 and dawning of 2012. There are just too many blessings from 2011 to list in this short amount of time. Keep watch for part II! See you in 2012!

Oil Spill: Part I

2011-05-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

What goes in must come out. What goes up, must come down.

What does it mean to be a person of truth? What did Jesus mean when he said, "True worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth?" (my paraphrase)

I wonder if this has something to do with approaching God and others from a place of glass-splitting honesty. (If "glass-splitting honesty" seems an odd combination of words to you, think on it a bit, and I am confident the meaning will come to most of you reading this.) That would necessitate coming to him with both the good and the bad, the light, dark, and in between that we would often rather not admit or talk about. It feels better to come to God and others with a fresh face; radiant with hope, expectancy and faith in what is and what is to come. But what of the times when that faith is just not there, or feels fragile at best?

I think God welcomes it all. Consider the following:

"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless." -Psalm 10:14

And continuing a little later:
"You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." -Psalm 10:17-18.

What strikes me in this is God's listening posture and his encouraging. Actually, it goes the other way around in the passage. He encourages, and THEN he listens. Many who are used to the "pull yourself up by your Bible bootstraps" method of recovery might expect it to be the other way around, where we cry, followed by God encouraging, saying, "That's it! Cry no more! I've encouraged you!" And while I think that is part of the equation at times, there is something equally beautiful and comforting to be gained from what we see here: Encouragement, then more crying. It's as if God is saying, "I'll encourage you. Now keep crying. Let it all out. I'll encourage you some more, for as long as it takes."

To be quite honest, I have been processing some disappointments lately that have felt like the culminating disappointment of my life. And in this, I have felt God giving me the permission to get angry about it, with him and with what feels to me like an injustice. (I know that God is just, so I am not accusing him. But it is surprising when he allows us to use him as a punching bag.) And this has been scary. But I think it would be less scary if I were to process this kind of grief more honestly and more regularly. It's like an oil reservoir, longing to be drilled, the pressure having built up for so long that upon finally being tapped, the black ooze just seems to pour and pour.

Nobody wants to see crude oil pouring out of their mouth. But an old proverb says that "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." So what goes in must come out. Pain in, pain out. Joy in, joy out. Perhaps the trick is knowing when and how to tap the crude oil reserves so that others aren't subject to a massive oil spill. I think that's what the cross is for...pouring it all on Jesus, while he pours blood and water on us in return...life and more life.

Tree at Last

2011-05-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

What can you do when your place of greatest hope begins to infringe on your deepest disappointment? What is one to do when cold, hard retreat and impending satisfaction neither seem viable options?

Can one who is lame ever dare to truly walk on his own, when any attempts made previously ended in the same pitiful falling? And by the same token, can one bear to deny any future hope for a successful, stabilized attempt?

Such is the bittersweet flower we call "hope." It is at once a sweet fragrance and a putrid odor, depending on which side of a moment it stands.

Hope...deferred makes the heart sick. But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Some shoots may grow into beautiful trees, even out of what was once a stump perhaps. But how many times can such a stump bear to extend a fresh, green shoot, groping towards heaven, before it becomes weary of the constant chopping down which it is never quite, and somehow always, accustomed to?

As my mom, Cat Ello, wrote in one of her songs years ago,

"Jesus, Gardner of my heart,
break this fallow ground apart."

Oh to be tree....tree indeed.

Winter Morning....A New Poem for the First Big Snow of the Season

2010-12-04T23:30:00.000-08:00

Winter Morning
by David Ello

Winter's magic, some call tragic,
caught my breath this morning.

Sugar-crested, trees stand rested
underneath their blankets white.

Speckled, golden leaves lay hanging,
candied jewels in sweet suspension.

Were my eyes to write their sight,
days like this they'd more than mention.

But what my vision can't describe,
my heart instead will self-inscribe.

Winter wondered while I slumbered...
Woke me up this morning.

Autumnal Spring in the Winter

2010-11-27T18:58:00.000-08:00

What change a year can bring! I am convinced that life comes in seasons, just like the weather can change so drastically from one degree and color to another. A year ago this time I was struggling for full-time work and in the midst of a major desert period. I heard rumblings of rain, the words of those I trust speaking of a plentiful springtime to come. Seems the spring came a year later...but it came nonetheless in what has been one of the most beautiful falls I have ever experienced.

Winter is now approaching or may very well be upon us, but it feels like a further extension of this springtime I speak of. Whereas last year I was concerned with how to find more substantial work and how to get into the school system substitute teaching, now I am enjoying regular full-time work and preparing to enter the schools as a touring theatre artist.

Last year this time I had only the faint beginnings of a partially written kids show. Now I have completed several drafts of a full-length script for "King David: LIVE!" which I have been able to workshop and present in small increments around Chicagoland raising funds toward the full production.

Doubts abound when one lives by what is clearly visible. My doubts as to whether or not God would allow me to stay in Chicago, whether he would continue to provide for me here in pursuit of my dream, his dream, our theatrical dream together, rose and fell at different times like the temperature outside. But over the past year, he has also taught me how to work with the inner thermostat, such that the outside elements of cold, hot, wind and rain (or lack thereof, mostly), have less of a mal-effect on this tree he has planted. I'm taking root, and it's his plan. So I'm okay. And I will thrive, rain or shine, snow or no snow. But there will be snow. And this tree will blossom in it.

Come now, winter, and extend this springtime with your icy, snowy blasts! The Snowman Awaits!

Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything (NIV translation)

" 1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

Perfectionism and Progress

2010-06-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that "Perfection is the enemy of the good." Now, one could argue from a theological standpoint that in light of God's perfection, this is not true, since God is perfect and perfectly good. But I'm speaking of human perfection at the moment, so humor me awhile as I digress into two recent discoveries.

I'm finding that perfectionism hinders one from truly enjoying the process. A simple process of cooking delectable hamburger patties on a grill can easily shift from enjoying the aroma of the smoke coming off of the coals and melding with the meat to the incessant inner monologue saying, "Oh my gosh, these stupid, stupid flames are burning my meat! Why didn't I wait 'til the fire died down so I could cook these suckers to PERFECTION like I know I can!" First, that's missing the point. Second, it's prideful and a bit presumptuous. "Perfection like I know I can?" Wow. And if that were actually true, that I could grill the meat to perfection (or perform any such task to perfection), who's to say that I am capable of reaching perfection every time I attempt such a task? It's a big set-up for failure, and I find that one misses a lot along the way. The meat turned out quite yummy, by the way, a little greasy though some of it may have been.

What does this have to do with the Revolution of Chai and my time here in Chicago? Precisely this: There are many things that I set out to accomplish when I moved here two years ago (and as of last Friday it has been exactly two years, thank you very much and thank you God!). And many of those things haven't happened yet, or else they have but are taking place on a very miniscule, hard-to-see-by-the-naked-eye level. Some examples? Becoming a better writer and theatre artist for one. What progress have I made in that regard? Since highschool, no---middle school--I have been acting in at least one show per semester (that's a minimum of two shows per year) and kept my acting chops fresh, growing, expanding. Since moving to Chicago I have been in only 1, yes 1, show (and that was almost two years ago now). That's okay though. I didn't come here so much to act as to write and produce/direct new theatre. And in that way, I have improved. So the actor in me feels neglected but the writer/creator of new theatre in me is growing. I have written more short plays in my two years here and seen more of my original writing acted out in some form or another (workshop, table reading, informal or staged reading at Show and Tells, etc.) than I ever have in my prior 24 years of life in Houston. And as for producing? Well, I actually haven't produced very much original work on a large scale, but I have been able to gather other artists and promote the exposure of their work to some degree, particularly through the Show and Tells we've been doing over the past 6 months or so. I have also seen more theatre here than perhaps in my entire lifetime (not sure about that one, but it seems close nonetheless). And I'm a much better theatre educator than I was before moving here, having compiled more lesson plans and taught more classes than I ever had before living in this city. I have even made significant progress on a play about my namesake that may soon become my first production to be fully produced and performed professionally, impacting paying (and perhaps a few non-paying) audiences. That's HUGE!

This leaves me two choices. I can lament the fact that I have been in Chicago for two years and still haven't seen any large scale fruition of what I came here hoping to do, thus holding to a perfectionistic, performance-based ideal...OR I can take a step back from it all and admire this ever bubbling pot of Chai that God is still brewing, yes, even stewing over with great patience and delight, saying, "Mmm....Smell that ginger, look at that cardamom float on the surface, see how these spices are swimming together to make a harmonious whole that's going to make the whole earth's mouth water for more of me and my goodness." (God speaking, of course.) Process. Option 1 is Perfectionism and self-judgment. Option 2 is about Enjoying the Process and becoming free to take in an albeit non-perfect, day by day picture that's a bit different from how I thought things ought to play out. Am I going to breathe in the aroma of the Chai with Jesus or stress over the fact that it's not completely Chai yet, becoming though it may be?

I'll end with this. About two weeks ago, my friend Brian, co-collaborator of the Show and Tell parties and all-around fun guy to hang with, encouraged me with something reflecting the following: "You know, David, you should be really pleased with yourself. You've done good here, accomplished quite a bit. These Show and Tells have been helping a lot of people and have been a great success. And they've provided me and some others the platform to develop some of our work from one level to the next, such that a few of us are actually putting on a house concert and getting our stuff out there. And that was one of the original goals you set out with in the beginning, wasn't it? To promote different artists towards realizing their artistic talents in a more full expression?" Okay, so perhaps I elaborated while quoting, but this is the gist of what he said, or what I heard. And suddenly, like Lucy telling the always down and out Charlie Brown something so simple yet revealing about his positive effect in the world, I felt as if some of my dreams and goals were being realized and this revolution of Chai had indeed begun to take place. I hadn't failed. I haven't.

So thank you, Brian Stark, and thank you Lord for encouraging me with what is instead of what isn't. And thank you that what isn't may yet be, when the time is ripe and the water has boiled out of the milk (you Chai makers will understand me on this).

Perfectionism or Process? Perfection can denote a stopping point. Process implies proceeding. I'd rather proceed. And that I will.

(In the spirit of proceeding, did you know that I have edited this post about 3 or 4 times before finally just letting it be? Perfectionism once again? Or process? I suppose it has to do with my attitude in the midst of it.)

"12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 3:12-14

A Homecoming and Coming home again

2010-04-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

To be perfectly honest, Houston and I haven't been on the best of terms since (and before) moving up to Chicago, primarily due to this fear that sometimes comes to taunt me into thinking I may fail in my pursuits here and have to one day move back.

But last weekend made me feel different. I realized afresh just how rich a history I have in the Bayou City, what deep and proud heritage I have in my old church family there, not to mention the special bond I'm very fortunate to have with my flesh and blood family.

It's true that one can't live in the past, and singing songs lamenting the passing of the "good 'ole days" won't ever do anyone much good in engaging the present. But I'm realizing there's an equal danger in simply discarding the past in an effort to embrace the future. Remembrance is important. It helps us to appreciate and honor what's gone before us and to be thankful for the depth of what's been sown, producing hope for new roots to develop just as deep in the new places we find ourselves. To dwell in the past wouldn't be healthy (or actually possible for that matter...not really, as time and space is ever-changing and never remains quite as it was when we left it to engage in the present), but to visit and remember for awhile is a different story altogether.

Thank the Lord for BBQ and Tex-Mex and the Houston Vineyard and Samuel Jones and Tim Simpson and all of the others who have made such a rich impact in my life. How I wish I could carry all of them with me where I am at, or that we could all carry on together somehow, though we are in different places. Thank God for a climate (as much as I criticize it at times) where carnivorous plants can thrive and kids of all ages can take a swim in a summer that's actually hot enough to do so. Praise God for the myriad of amazing restaurants in the city and in the suburbs, and praise him for the quite-complex yet efficient freeway system that transports hungry stomachs to those desired havens.

Thanks Lord for making me a Houstonian. And thanks for the Houstonian Chicagoan that I am becoming and couldn't have become otherwise without my rich history in the Bayou City. From the Windy City, I thank you.

Awakening

2010-03-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

Whenever I go into the darkness, the light within me shines all the brighter. I don't just mean any darkness. I'm speaking particularly of the area where I have been called to, a specific field of influence. I can feel the burning, the embers glowing deep, a fresh flame igniting as I step into a place greatly devoid of the light I carry. It's not my light to begin with, but it is there. It was a gift, and I'm to give that to others.

Vague musings on a theatre artist/musician/part-time customer service rep among other things writing on a Saturday afternoon? No, not quite. Something within me is burning fresh. Burning doesn't always feel good. Actually most of the time, a burning causes irritation. I burn.

I've heard it said that your purpose is found where the world's greatest need and your deepest joy meet (or something of the sort). How about the intersection of deepest darkness with your deepest light? I know I'm speaking a lot about light here and not being very specific. But there's a purpose in that.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Death, death, death. Bring life, life, life all around. All around.

The river begs for Chai without even knowing. Time to get brewing.

Out of the Desert!!!

2010-02-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

My friends, it has happened! After 6 months in the desert, God has brought me out and into the next leg of the journey! This past Sunday I got some extra hope while gathering with my church, the Evanston Vineyard, and later on after the screening of "Furious Love" at Oak Park Vineyard. The next day, as I was praying with my roommate for a breakthrough (among other things), I sensed the Holy Spirit say to me, "TODAY." At first I wasn't sure whether to take that in faith and hold God to that, but I finally said, "You know God, I don't want to presume, but I think you're actually telling me that you're going to break through TODAY. So I pray that you would!" About an hour or so later, I get a call from one of the job leads I had interviewed for previously. And BOOM! I'm in. Training started the next day (Tuesday), and the rest is becoming history. It's been a long, hard week of training, but I am so glad to have some stable work after months of piecing together part-time contract gigs.

Here are a few nuggets of remembrance from the desert period. (There are much more, some of which you can read in greater depth through other blog posts here.):

Man really doesn't live by bread alone but by every word that comes from God's mouth. When God says there will be food on the table, or money to pay the rent and bills, there will be. It may not come in the way we expect, but it will be there. Whatever he says, goes.

Performance alone does not create progress. The necessary ingredient is Providence. In this desert, I learned that no matter how hard I strived, it didn't make a lick of a difference in how I was provided for. I know now that everything I have and ever will have is the result of God providing it for me. Sometimes he'll just give it easily, and other times he'll give it in such a way that we have to go out and take it. But the bottom line is that he gives it.

He is faithful, he is faithful, he is faithful. Last week was one of the hardest weeks I have had in a long time. Feeling the strain of not having enough work, getting rejected by job leads and not experiencing any progress in terms of the job-search all weighed in on me, with the voice of Satan (or more likely, his minions), saying, "You're gonna fail. God's going to push you out of this place. You'll have to move back home 'cause you can't make it here. Your time is up. Go back. You did what you could." Lies lies lies.

The truth is finely stated in Psalm 44. I'll leave you with this:

"3 It was not by their sword that they won the land,
nor did their arm bring them victory;
it was your right hand, your arm,
and the light of your face, for you loved them.

4 You are my King and my God,
who decrees victories for Jacob.

5 Through you we push back our enemies;
through your name we trample our foes.

6 I do not trust in my bow,
my sword does not bring me victory;

7 but you give us victory over our enemies,
you put our adversaries to shame.

8 In God we make our boast all day long,
and we will praise your name forever.
Selah " -Psalm 44:3-8

"I sought the Lord and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears." -Psalm 34:4

Praise Yahweh, the God of the desert and the Promised Land coming after.

Attack. Advance. All hell will not prevail against it.

2010-02-14T13:20:00.000-08:00

There comes a time when one must fight. There comes a time when one has to stop defending and start attacking.

I watched a movie called "Miracle" last night, in which the Olympic U.S. Hockey Team was training for the games and to defeat the Soviet Team. At one point in the movie, the coach, masterfully played by Kurt Russel, shows the team what they are up against and how the Soviets have historically decimated opposing teams on the ice. His strategy? Don't defend them. Throw their own game in their face, and advance. Fight. Attack. Get 'em on the offense.

I think there comes a time in our minds when we've got to do that, to stop defending against the negatives, the fears, the what-ifs and maybe-nots, and instead go for the jugular. I don't want to simply sit on my sinking ship, hoping that I can deflect the cannon balls coming my way and somehow stay afloat long enough for the enemy ships to go away. I want to hit 'em back, shoot some cannon-balls of my own and capture their fleet. Plunder!

You may think I'm talking about the U.S. military, or some personal enemies in my own circle of society. But that's not the case. I'm speaking of a spiritual battle and the spiritual forces that seek to undermine those who have chosen to pursue a divine destiny. I'm talking about the devil.

"The devil?" you ask. "Little man in red spandex with cute horns and matching spandex?" No. I'm talking about a fallen angel who's had millenia to craft deceit and hurls his lies at even the most astute players on this stage. The one that the apostle Peter refers to as a "roaring lion, prowling around, seeking someone to devour."

What's his main line of attack? How do we attack back? For me, it's been words, thoughts, so-called truths that are in fact no truth at all. Lies lies lies. It's the subtle art of undermining. "You're time is up here. It's time to go back to Houston. You are not succeeding here because you're not supposed to anymore. The doors are closing because you're supposed to go back and succeed there."

So it's time to attack back.

"The Lord will fullfill his purpose for me. God wants me here. My God will meet all of my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. The Lord plans to prosper me, not to harm me. Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. God is not a man, that he should lie or change his mind. He is not fickle. He's not going to uproot me so suddenly, just because I'm used to a history of not getting to stay in one place for more than a few years. No. The Lord will provide. We live by faith, not by sight. It's not time to let go. It's time to hold on."

Maybe this doesn't mean anything to you. Perhaps it's just for me to get out on paper (electronic as it may be), to declare the truth in cyberspace, to make a further declaration of war. Well, this is my declaration: My God has sent me on a mission to Chicago, and I haven't seen that fulfilled yet. His time for me here is not finished, and whenever it is, he will let me know in a way that produces peace, not fear. I will not go on creating alternate stories which I can understand, to place my faith in those. I'm going to continue believing in the God whose ways are often unseen, like a mustard seed that is planted and grows slowly under ground, only later to produce a plant that provides shelter for multiple others.

I will not be intimidated. I will intimidate the enemy with my steadfast trust in the Jesus who is with me, teaching me how to walk on the water and kill giants. The battle isn't mine anyway. It's the Lord's. He's going to bring in the victory. I just have to hold the ground I've been given and keep moving forward. You may recall that David, before he became king of Israel, had to face a giant. And he didn't retreat. The account in the book of Samuel says that David actually ADVANCED towards the giant Goliath. He RAN towards him! Subtle defense? Hardly. It's time to advance. It's time to go get the giant. It's time to knock him down and chop his head off. And I will, because the Lord God who delivered David then is with David to deliver him today.

Surprised by Chai

2010-01-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

C.S. Lewis wrote a book called "Surprised By Joy" in which he details the surprise, romantic relationship and marriage God brought to him in his later years. I'm not nearly as old as he was when wrote that, and I hope I'm as much surprised by the joy of such a relationship before that age. For now, however, I'm finding myself surprised by Chai.

As many of you know, I went through a great withdrawal season when Borders switched all of their cafes to Seattle's Best, no longer serving my beloved substance, that most glorious Borders Chai. And though I have made attempts to concoct my own heavenly brew, I can never quite match the taste of that legendary liquid I used to consume. It's no surprise then that sometimes I have dreams of finding this kind of Chai again in the most random of places.

What's shocking is that these dreams are becoming a reality.

Months ago, I was visiting the International House of Prayer in Kansas City where I stumbled across a Chai that most certainly resembled in taste and texture the wonderful drink I used to get from Borders. I was amazed! When I asked what kind of Chai they were using, they told me "Big Train." Big Train. Remember.

So since then I have wanted to get some Big Train Chai, see if it really is the same stuff, but due to limited resources and feeling like I should spend my money on more reasonable things, I've held off on making such a purchase. Big Train.

Just before Christmas I was thinking of ordering myself some of this Chai to enjoy on my visit to Houston for the holidays. But I didn't. And just two nights ago, I was talking to some friends about Big Train Chai, suggesting they order some to consider selling at their coming coffee bar (check out www.overflowcoffeebar.org). But I didn't intend to get any myself.

Surprise surprise! Tonight, at the invitation of some of my other friends, Joel and Elda, I came to their house and received one of the best gifts a man like me could ever hope to receive: a large canister of Big Train Chai! I was ecstatic! I opened the canister almost instantly, sniffing and inhaling the sweet aroma like an addict who's gone months without his fix. Ah......Ah.......AH! JESUS JESUS JESUS! (If you think I'm making this up, ask Joel and Elda. They were there to witness my elation, and it sounded much like I'm describing here!) They proceeded to tell me that they wanted to get me something for taking them to the airport back in December. This was just before I left home for Christmas...the same time I was thinking about Big Train Chai. Coincidence? No.

I'm in love with a God who knows my deepest desires, who woos me with gifts and sweet whispers and longs for me to pursue him in return. I believe in a Jesus who wants to give me "life and life to the full." I'm a friend of this crazy God who backs statements like, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4 I'm in love with a God who loves me and loves that I love Chai because he loves Chai...and likes to surprise me with it.

I think what I'm most surprised by is the fact that I really didn't do anything to procure this. I didn't order the Chai, didn't ask my friends, "Hey, can you get me some of this stuff?" didn't beg and plead for God to bless me with...well, maybe I did ask him back in December. But I didn't do anything to get it. He just gave it to me and in his crazy timing.

I love this God of surprises. I love how he loves to show me himself through other people. Sometimes I say, "Jesus, I want to see your face." And I often forget that I get to see him all the time in other people, in my roommate, in my friends, in the guys that are helping me work out three times a week and pushing me further so I can get in the shape that I want to be.

Surprise me more, God, and continue to do so through the people you have made!

Let's get ready for surprises, shall we? Surprised by CHAI!

Enjoying the Process (or Drinking with Jesus)

2010-01-20T07:25:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling heavy this morning and much of yesterday as well. I've wanted to get so much done and have actually been somewhat productive but still lacking the greater results I want to see. I have been seeking God for solutions, answers, revelation. And what I got just awhile ago was so much better.

I had it all planned. I was going to wake up early today (which I did), read my Bible part of the time (which I did), and do some strategic planning with God to create more structure in my life and hopefully a more productive day-to-day lifestyle. This strategic planning hasn't happened yet. I thought A and B would lead to C, but the thing is that A and B left me high and dry. And it's not that waking up early and reading my Bible were bad things. Those are good things! But Jesus showed me that instead of searching the Scriptures for him, I was just looking for answers, solutions, results. Is that bad? Not entirely. God is full of answers. He calls us to seek wisdom, search it out, all that good stuff. But my primary motive was off. I was seeking him, but not so much for him. More of a side-thought to get what I really wanted: more clarity, more results, more progress.

As none of this was bearing any fruit (not to my knowledge anyway), I decided to pop in a CD that had a sermon on it a friend gave me from Bethel church (www.ibethel.org), the title being "Enjoying the Process." It was about how we're so results oriented in our western mindsets that we often get sidetracked from just enjoying the process with God, getting to know him, BEING with him. And I began to cry as I realized I wasn't seeking Jesus this morning as much as the results he might give me.

Here's a thought. Who of your best friends, or let's say best long-distance friends, have you had the best time with? And what are you doing in that time? Are you actually DOING something? Or is most of the good stuff happening in the being, the talking, the sharing of life? How much of what's going on, whether in person or on the phone, is instructional, and how much is simply relational? As for me, why do I feel like more often than not, if I'm gonna get something from God, it's got to be instructional? Don't get me wrong, I know the Bible speaks of God confiding in those who fear him. He makes known the paths of life, he teaches us truth, etc. But is that limited to didactic truth? Might some of that life, that truth, that knowledge include things like, "This is why I love the color green," or "You are so beautiful to me, " or "I want to share with you the joy of making a snowman" ?

Process. Jesus. Process. I don't want to just feel the effects of the caffeine pulsating through my veins, waking me up and making me happy. I want to participate in making the Chai, peeling the ginger, crushing the cardamom, watching the cinnamon sticks simmer with the black tea as it creates a lush rue before adding the creamy delight. I want to taste the tea on my tongue, embracing every spice, and swallow. I want to drink Chai with Jesus. I want to drink him in. Would you like to drink with us?

Oh Cardamom!!

2009-12-31T16:48:00.000-08:00

So I was putting away some Mexican Vanilla bean that my friend Gabe gave me, and I wanted a canister to put it in, you know, store it in a cool, dry place. Well, I open this canister that used to hold Gypsy Tea Coconut Chai (very good I might add), and what do I find there but a bag full of fresh, green CARDAMOM PODS! Now, this may not mean much to you, but when I needed Cardamom about a month and a half ago for some Chai and didn't have any more pods left, I sure could have used this! Instead I bought some more at Whole Foods. In any case, I just couldn't believe that I had that there and that I didn't know about it! And I said, "God, why didn't you tell me about this?"
His response? "You didn't ask."
I could feel him almost laughing.

As I go into this new year, I don't want to take for granted what I have. I want to know what I've got and utilize those resources to their fullest potential. Like Cardamom. Something I'm realizing is that we often have what we need right now. Yes, there are things that we will need later to do bigger and better things. For instance, I am going to need more people to team up with to produce theatre with. But are those people all really "out there" somewhere, or are many of them right in my own backyard, people I have begun to live and play with in the here and now? Or take the issue of space, for example. I am going to need a theater space to produce shows in, and this is something I'd like to begin pursuing more in this new year. But while I'm researching spaces, properties and the like, are there other spaces I can use in the meantime? I want to have another "Show and Tell" party soon, this month actually. And the thought occurred to me a few weeks ago: Why not get some actors together, direct them in one of my short plays (just 7 minutes or so), and produce it right there at the next Show and Tell? We'll have the audience. Why not do it? So hopefully I can get my act together and do what I need to do to make these things happen.

Timing is important, I know. But so is doing. So is utilizing the resources that are right in front of you. I, for one, am a victim of laziness and lack of structure, laziness and lack of structure that I create. So in this new year, I am hoping to become more steadfast and more structured in the things I am pursuing: my love relationship with God, the development and production of two one-man shows, researching what I need to do to get a building (or what I would need in teaming up with others to do so). And where I am lacking, I can reach out to ask others for wisdom and help.

God help us use the Cardamom we already have for good Chai and more in 2010!

Reward of Risk....No Regret

2009-12-19T01:08:00.000-08:00

I watched two Christmas movies with some friends tonight, one very light-hearted and another deeper in tone. Both had their moments of inspiration, but what struck me most was the risk some of the characters took, especially romantically, and the rewards they received in return. As is the case with most movies, the rewards of each risk were almost instantaneous. Not always so in real life. But there are rewards none of the less.

There was one scene in particular where a father was encouraging his young son to pursue a girl that he was "in love with." The dad told the boy something to the effect of, "Go for it, son! Tell her you love her, and see what happens, or you'll always live to regret it!" In this case, the boy's pursuit of the girl ended up in him getting what he wanted, her love in return. But what struck me the most was the reward of having risked, whether or not things would have turned out well for the boy.

Earlier this year, I took a similar risk. In some ways I have felt good about the risk, and in other ways I have felt disappointed, as if I lost somehow, since my affections were not returned. I have learned that moving on would be in my best interest, and it has been helpful, but there has still been a sense of loss, or failure rather. But as I was watching this movie tonight, I felt as if something broke off in me, that weight that said, "you tried and you failed." Instead, I could hear God saying, "You did try, and you didn't fail because your trying means you won't live to regret having never tried at all. You did what you could, and I am proud of you. Now you can move forward, knowing you are more of a man for putting yourself out there. You went for it. You took a risk. Good for you."

The thing is, risks don't always beget happy endings as they do in movies, at least not in the way that we would always like. In my case, I'm realizing that my reward was in the risking. I don't have to live with regret, and I'll be that much more ready to take the next risk whenever it arrives.

Onward.

Version 2: Paradigm Shift in the Sand

2009-12-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

I had a revelation last night:

The desert is a place to learn about Providence over Performance. It's a place where one can learn to trust in what God provides apart from one's ability to perform well. I'll unpack this more in just a bit, but let's add one more element: Progress.

Here's my natural way of thinking, which I'm calling version 1:

1. Performance -------> Providence -------> Progress

But this way isn't the truth. It's a recipe for burn-out.

Here's a better way of thinking...version 2:

2. Providence---------> Performance ------> Progress

In version 1, my performance is the catalyst for God's providence (or any kind of provision), which in turn creates progress.

In version 2, my performance is the natural outflow of what God is already providing, which leads to progress.

Version 1 is on me; Version 2 is on him.
Version 1 requires self-sufficiency; Version 2 requires God-sufficiency.
Version 1 depends on control; Version 2 relies on trust.

Which is safer? Me or him? Self-sufficiency or God-sufficiency? Control or Trust in God's control?

Oh, it feels safer to trust me...It feels safer to rely on myself. And it feels safer to have "control." But nothing ever works out like this, not for long anyway.

If one can learn to rely on the provision of God in a desert period, when she cannot possibly provide for herself out of her own ability to produce, then when she gets out of the desert and into a more fruitful season, she'll know that the fruit is not the result of her self-creation but of God's sustaining blessing.

Jesus underwent this very testing in the desert. A more fruitful season of life was coming for him, an amazing three years which would culminate in some of the most mind-blowing, reality-altering accomplishments on the planet. But none of these accomplishments were of his own making or own doing. He was continuously dependent on the Father's love and the Father's power given by the Holy Spirit. Jesus learned this amazing reliance in the desert.

Let's look at the dynamics of this as recorded in Matthew 4:1-11:

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread."

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written:
" 'He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'"

Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."

Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'"

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Boom! So there you go. I won't unpack all of this, but I find it very interesting that each of the the devil's attempts at tempting Jesus had to do with performance, action, control.

First the devil tries to get Jesus to manipulate the stone and turn it into bread. But Jesus isn't going to just take matters into his own hands. He's learning to rely on the Father and what the Father tells him to do.

Then the devil wants Jesus to incite God, to test the Father, if you will. In other words, "I don't see God activity right now. If you are really who you say you are and if God is who he says he is, then make him prove it. Do something to get him to respond. Here! Jump off this really high place and get him to send some angels' to save you. Let's see God do a trick!"
But Jesus wouldn't manipulate his Father. He trusted that the Father knew what he was doing and didn't have to prove himself.

Finally we see the devil say, in effect, "Well, obviously the God you're worshipping isn't getting you anywhere, so worship me instead and I'll give you everything you want instantly. Kingdoms, authority, you name it. Worship me, and it's yours."
Once again, Jesus stands his ground, trusting that the one he worships and loves, the one true God, his Father, would provide what he needed and accomplish all the big stuff in the right time. Jesus didn't have to take action in worshipping something else in order to instantly get what he wanted.

Do do do. Perform perform perform. Control and manipulate!

Wait...Trust...Believe. Rest. Receive.

I'm opting for version 2.

Death before the Dream Come True

2009-12-13T21:07:00.000-08:00

I've decided I'm going to work on writing two musicals at once, instead of just one. I'm writing a King David musical for kids, and also one for adults. Both deal with similar themes, and both may include some of the same music. Both are one-man shows at this point, and one will hopefully morph into a large-cast production at a later time. But one must start somewhere, right?

As you can see from my recent posts, hunger in a desert period is something that has struck a deep chord with me lately. I am also intrigued by this in the life of King David. I see David as a man who was given a great promise from a very early age and struggled with the delayed fulfillment of that promise for years to come. At several points in the Biblical narrative, others in David's life have to reassure him that he will indeed inherit the promise that God has made to him regarding his kingship over Israel. At times, it looks as though David is not entirely secure about his future as Israel's king. If I had a raging, demon-tormented King pursuing me with armies through multiple assassination attempts, I might question God on this as well. "So, what was all that about becoming Israel's next king? 'Cause right now I don't know if I'll make it to see the sunrise tomorrow, much less become the leader of this nation."

Put yourself in his shoes. Now add to that conflict the fact that your best friend, the king's son, is next in line for the throne. And even though he, your best friend, has sworn his allegiance to you, relinquishing his birthright to the throne, who's to say that he won't change his mind and turn against you once his father dies, leaving the kingdom up for grabs?

Here's something interesting to consider...David wouldn't kill King Saul, his chief obstacle to receiving his God-given inheritance as Israel's next king. And David wouldn't kill his own best friend, Jonathan, who would have been next in line for the kingship. Somehow David trusted, through all of the doubting, that God would deal with Saul in his time and would turn the kingdom over to him as promised. But I don't know if he ever considered that his best friend would die at the same time. I am not saying that God killed Jonathan or that Jonathan would have gone back on his word to David regarding relinquishing his birthright to the throne. I just find it interesting that at a time when David's chief obstacle (and once-loved fatherly figure), King Saul, was removed, David's best friend Jonathan (and a potential threat to the kingdom) died as well. David lamented the loss of these two great men in his life, enemy though one of them had become, and his grief was so great that he wrote a song about them, memorializing their greatness. It is right after this huge personal loss in David's life that he becomes ready to receive the kingdom of Israel, which he had long since been promised.

I suppose the reason this strikes me so much is that I have been grieving the loss of a friendship recently, or at least a major transition in that friendship which to me, signals the end of a very long season of richness and beauty in our communication. I have been struggling with God some this weekend as a tender wound in me has been jostled, wondering how it is that something so very good and so long-standing could so suddenly be brought to a close. Part of my desert experience, if I can be quite honest, is the absence of this close friendship in my life. I miss my friend dearly, but I know things can't go back to the way they were, especially if I am to maintain a healthy progression of moving on in my heart and being able to live in the here and now, locally and presently.

So I am strangely encouraged as I look at David's life before his kingship. He too experienced deep, personal loss. And it was almost immediately after that great loss that his greatest fulfillment came.

I think I'm onto something...Releasing my grasp to take hold of the future that God wants to give.

Roots

2009-12-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

Healing takes awhile sometimes.

When roots are deep and uprooting hurts,
which is better:
to lament the pain?
or celebrate the depth of the roots that were there?

Ready to be re-planted. My roots are tingly, aching for some rich soil.

Hunger Continued

2009-12-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine posted a comment on facebook in response to the last post, "Hunger Filled," which prompted me to write this quick follow-up. I don't think I will come up with all of the answers in this little tid-bit, but I figured it'd be worth exploring a little more.

The comment my friend made had to do with the difference among types of being filled: emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I think the following passage can provide us further insight into ways of being filled.

"Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, 'Will you give me a drink?' (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, 'You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?' (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Jesus answered her, 'If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.'

'Sir,' the woman said, 'you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?'

Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'

The woman said to him, 'Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.' " -John 4:6:15

A few observations:
1. Jesus was legitimately tired, and he asked for a real drink of water. I think Jesus was legitimately asking for something to quench his thirst. Simple enough, yes?

2. Jesus is able to legitimize our need for physical sustenance while simultaneously pointing to the need for quenching our spiritual thirst. You can see this even more so if you continue reading the parts of the passage that I left off.

3. Jesus is holistic. He cares about every part of our lives, physically, spiritually, emotionally. If you read further in this passage, you'll see much of the spiritual component. We've already seen the emotional in Luke, where Jesus is saying, "Blessed are you who weep, for you will be comforted." And there are other instances of Jesus multiplying bread for people to eat, his first miracle in which he turned water into wine, and so forth. Jesus cares about all of our needs. And he can meet them all. Question is, will we let him?

I can say for myself that it's hard for me to trust in a God I don't see, who I don't hear audibly, and whose ways of speaking to me seem very sporadic and very creative. I'm a creative person but sometimes I don't want creative speech! I'd rather have it spoon-fed to me easily where I can immediately understand it. It's much easier for me to talk to a friend or get on facebook or email and try to get my needs met that way than it is to take a moment and ask for Jesus to speak. 'Cause he's so foreign in some ways. But though those other things fill to varying degrees (facebook very little, in my opinion), he's the one that fills the most, when I get it. So how can I get it? How can we get more Jesus?

I'll let you know when I found out.

Hunger Filled

2009-12-10T09:10:00.000-08:00

It is possible to be hungry yet filled? If one is filled, does that mean that she cannot experience hunger at the same time?

I've been hungry lately. And I have been filled. But I am still hungry. Is that okay? It seems to have been okay for Jesus. Let's take a look at something that struck me this morning during a casual reading of Luke in the Bible.

At the beginning of Luke 4, we are told that "Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the desert, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry."

Two things stick out at me. The first is that Jesus was full of the Holy Spirit BEFORE going into the desert. It's almost as if he went there not to get filled but because he WAS filled. As Bill Johnson said not too long ago, it was as if Jesus going into the desert was a way of testing what was already in him, just like putting a patched tire under water to prove its ability to hold up (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist.) So as I have been in this desert season, I am encouraged to realize that maybe one of the reasons I'm in this sandy place is for the Spirit to show how much of himself is already in me, giving me an opportunity to experience this reality of his presence even more so.

But here's the other part that interests me. Jesus was hungry at the end of his time in the desert. He was hungry physically, and I wonder...could he have been hungry spiritually as well? Is it possible to be so filled by God and by good things yet to still be hungry for more? Is it okay that I am experiencing more of God's provision and episodes of deeper intimacy in this desert yet still longing for more romance and validation?

Once again...Jesus was hungry. He hadn't eaten, he felt that hunger, and that was okay. I sense Jesus saying, "You know, you're hungry. And that's okay. I'm with you in that." Just because one is hungry doesn't mean there's some spiritual or even physical deficiency. Jesus actually commends hunger, at least spiritually speaking. As he was teaching his disciples on a hilltop one day, Jesus said,
"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you and when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets." -Luke 6:20-23

Whether you take these statements to refer to physical needs (poor = little money) or spiritual needs (poor = spiritually poor, as one of the other Gospel writers recorded), Jesus seems to be saying something very definitive: To be in a place of unmet desire, for some portion of your life, is a natural thing, and God actually says it's a place of blessing. Why? I don't have the full answer for that, but I think part of it has to do with the statement, "you will be satisfied." The desire will be met in some way, whether sooner or later. And in this passage, it actually looks like Jesus hits on some very basic and important needs we all have materially, bodily, spiritually, emotionally, relationally. It's all there.

I think what encourages me the most is this realization that Jesus was hungry. Legitimately hungry...And this in the midst of what many of us see as a spiritual peak.

I thought I was getting it wrong here in the desert, since I want to be filled by God yet I'm still hungry. I see now that I'm right where Jesus was at. And I can hear him say, "I'm with you."

More poetry this evening

2009-12-08T20:54:00.000-08:00

We, are the fruit of his lips
He, the root of our tree
The legs to our hips
and everything that stands above

We are the produce of his field
The juice from his grapes
The wine pouring from his bottle
We are the liquid in the glass

He is...
He...
is...

We are...
the rain from his clouds
the rays of his sun
We are the ocean resevoir of his heavenly downpour

We are the cotton of his candy
The lolly of his pop
We are, the chocolate chip
in his cookie dough

He is the oven
We are the bread

We are the oven
He is the bread

Ri...
Rise...
RISE!

You are the raindrops on my window pane
Crashing gently,
Trickling with violence
Ra-tap, ta-tat tat....tappa tip!
Ba-dip ba dip ba dip...
da rop...drop..Drip!

Snow Prayer by David Ello

2009-11-28T14:52:00.000-08:00

I tried to keep the snow,
Clutching hard to keep it here.
I said that it was mine,
and now I stare at water.

I tried to keep the snow...
Waiting now for more to land.
In snowless places I will stand
and pray for it to come.

O Come, Come,
Snowflakes come again!
Dust us with your cold caress,
careening on the wind.
Sprinkle us with sugar's kiss,
Enfold with chilly arms.
Release us with a child's bliss,
to see you come again.

Come, come, O Giver of the Snow.
The ice will melt, but you, My God,
Will not be made to go.
Come, come, O Bringer of the Spring!
Delight with white this winter world
so child and snowman sing.

Beginnings....Show and Tell

2009-11-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

The Chai is pulsating through my veins like inspiration flowing through a pen.

Tonight (or should I say "last night" since it is now almost 5 A.M. the next day?), for perhaps the first time since moving into this city, I felt like I got to do what I was sent here to do: pour the Chai into the river and invite others to do the same.

It's been a long-held desire of mine to share original artistic work and enable other artists to share their work at the same time. It has been a goal of mine in coming to Chicago to provide encouragement and support to artists through providing a framework in which we can all share our gifts together. I believe that as we pour out our gifts for others to enjoy, we are pouring out a bit of ourselves. And if Jesus is inside, all the better.

Tonight--Last Night---saw the fruition of the first "Show and Tell" party, an idea that started percolating in my mind a few months ago while sipping on a beverage at Borders and strategizing with God about how to do more of what I want to do with others. This vision began to become more of a reality when I met with a few other friends a little over a month ago to plan out the logistics for such an event.

It wasn't very complex, really: just a bunch of creative people coming together to share some good food, drinks (Chai included, of course), conversation, and art-in-process. We had everything from stand-up comedy to breakdancing, poetry and set-design. Many played instruments and sang, one shared a short play (can you guess who that was?), another played a recording of a smooth, 80's inspired jazz composition he had written. I was amazed by the end of the night that we had spent a whole evening showing and telling about what we had been working on, and it didn't even seem that long. (There were some breaks in between, of course.) And I was equally amazed at how much talent was concentrated into one area. We must have had 14 or 15 people share something creative that they were working on or had created sometime in the past. Another beautiful element was the mutual appreciation each artist showed for one another, providing words of encouragement, affirmation, and and constructive feedback specific to each artist's humble offering. I say humble because it takes humility to put yourself out there in front of people, especially when you're bringing something that's not necessarily complete and quite possibly in need of further process.

I liken this evening to a good cup of Chai. Many ingredients all blending together to make a most heavenly brew.

The Revolution of Chai has begun. Drink up, Chicago! Drink up my God.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who trusts in him." -Psalm 34:8.

Dessert in the Desert

2009-11-09T20:51:00.000-08:00

What do you think of when one says the word, "desert?" A sandy, arid environment? A place devoid of life or little of it? Sand dunes a-plenty? How about dessert?

What would you do if someone told you, "Hey, I'm taking away your regular food supply for awhile, but I'm gonna give you something better in return?"

How about Chai in the desert? Or dessert for that matter?

This past weekend, God spoke to me about where I'm at in my life right now: the desert. And he wants to give me dessert while I'm here. He's told me recently that a season of abundance is coming, of greater fulfillment and amazing things happening to and through me. And it's coming soon. But it hasn't yet....No, not yet, not fully. And for now, I'm in the desert. And I'm excited about this. Why?

For one thing, it's good to know where you are so that you can navigate the terrain appropriately. Now that I know that I'm in a desert period, I can know better how I am to survive and what God wants me to do or learn in this place. So it's good just to know that.

Secondly, I'm excited because of what the desert means. It means that God is inviting me to a place of deeper intimacy with him, of greater reliance upon him and his sustenance. When Jesus was in the desert and the devil tempted him to turn a stone into bread to satisfy his hunger, Jesus' response was, "It is written, 'Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " I have to believe that Jesus was getting some really yummy words from God out there in the desert, or else taking what God had already spoken to him and chewing on it, savoring it. God has likewise been inviting me to eat more of his words, to gain more from him directly, more affirmation, more support, more love, more connection. I'm sick of hearing other people sing so passionately to Jesus or the Father or Spirit and me feeling jealous that I'm not as passionate as they are. I want to experience this more for myself. And I will. I'm starting to more and more, today.

Not only does this desert instigate greater intimacy with my Creator; He's also going to use it to prepare me to receive what he has when I come out of the desert. I'm talking powerhouse time, David running on all four cylinders on Holy Spirit gasoline, full-throttle kind of stuff. See, when Jesus got out of the desert, the Biblical narrative tells us that he went into high gear-mode, carrying out his full-on ministry. Same thing for King David before he became king. He spent a significant time in the desert being chased by King Saul before receiving the kingship that had long before been promised to him. But sometime after the desert, he got his kingdom. Or take the Israelites back in Moses' day. What did they do after escaping Egypt? They were in the DESERT! And what happened after the desert? Promised Land! Now, it took them 40 years, and many of the original Israelites didn't actually make it to the Promised Land 'cause they were too busy doubting God. So he let them die off and brought in the ones who would trust him. Why? And why all this time in the desert?

I believe God was creating a people for himself, and not just for his own sake but for their own sake, such that when they got into the Promised Land they would be able to inherit, conquer, and keep that which he wanted to give them. What good is a gift that you're going to squander? What good is new wine if the wineskin it goes into is going to burst and spill the goods all over the place? Or as Jesus asked, what good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul?

When we are in a desert period, God has the opportunity to show us more of his goodness such that we rely on him and his character more than anything else in our lives, and when more of the goods come on the other side, we can own it without it owning us, 'cause we've learned how to rely on him instead of the stuff. I don't want crazy power if it's going to destroy me when I get it. I don't want a girlfriend and money and success if these things are going to make me full of myself and empty out God when I get them. But ah, if I can keep my footing on him, on the foundation of who God is and who he says I am without relying on these other things for my identity, then, THEN, maybe I can have these things and they be good. Then maybe I can contribute to a wholesome relationship, contribute to success, contribute to whatever else comes my way, 'cause I'm already getting the core of what I need from the God I got to know better in the desert. I get to have my Chai now, so when other yummy things come along, I won't mistake them for Chai and can still enjoy them.

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every ounce of Chai that flows from the mouth of God. Lord, let me drink it in. I want to drink you in, and others can call me "full of it," in the best of ways. Yes, I will be full of you.

Let me say one more thing, and I'm taking from something that Bill Johnson said in a sermon or two once. The desert period in a person's life isn't meant to be an experience of simply scraping by. Rather, it's an opportunity to see the God of heaven show up and do some crazy things. Look at the Israelites again. They had a cloud guiding them and giving them shade by day, and a pillar of fire to warm and guide them by night! Crazy! And their sandals or shoes or whatever they were wearing on their feet didn't wear out! And they got this crazy bread from heaven called "Manna," and God gave 'em water gushing out of this rock, and all kinds of crazy stuff! I'm ready for the crazies! And I've already experienced a lot of that already! Dessert, dessert, dessert. Oh, and how 'bout some more...dessert?!? Seriously, that's what's been happening, mainly "trifling" things (or should I say "truffling?") that I don't necessarily "need" but things which God knows will encourage my heart. And he's dealing with the needs too, just in ways that I may not expect or prefer...kind of like the manna.

So I say bring it on. More Jesus, more Father, more Spirit, more Chai. And when I come out of this, it'll be Chai-time for more.

Brewing a Revolution

2009-10-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

When I make Chai, many benefit. Notice the progression from "I" to "many." I make, I drink, but because it is so good, I can't help but share what I have made with others.

When we create, others experience. There's the progression again, this time on a larger scale: "we" to "others."

I'm starting to realize that whatever I do, creatively or otherwise, is not to be simply for my own enjoyment, but for the benefit of another. Whether that "other" comprises of the Godhead---Father, Son, and Holy Spirit---or other human beings such as myself, the things that I initiate are supposed to propel movement somewhere else. Moving the heart of God, moving the heart of man, moving the city, the nation, the world to respond with a movement of their own.

This, in a very simple fashion, is how the complex work of culture-making takes place. It is a continual building upon what was already, to create something that was not, so that others can experience and build further upon or around it, whether good or bad.

What if we were to create a culture of Chai?

A Jewish friend told me some years ago that Chai is also a Hebrew word meaning "life." And Chai in my world is that most beloved substance, a tea latte with honey, milk, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and an array of other spices (depending on who's making it). Chai awakens, it stimulates the senses, it tantalizes the taste buds and fills those who drink it. It is the perfect metaphor for Jesus since he does all of this and more.

What would it look like to create a culture of heavenly substance, a life-giving spicy brew for others to drink and tangibly experience what God is like? And since I am an artist, I ask the question, what would that look like for artists?

I was inspired one night about a month ago as I was reading my Bible, and the words of the Scriptures I had been reading began to make sense to me in a way that they hadn't before. They supported and further illuminated a previous vision I had for a series of artistic events called "Show and Tell," and they beckoned me to look further. Let me tell you what these would look like tangibly, in my world, for artists. Then I'll show you the verses themselves.

Imagine a group of artists coming together to share food and laughter, inspiring inspiration and provoking more creative thought. Imagine a place where artists could share a piece of their heart in the form of a piece they are working on or have finished, whether visual art, photography, poetry, graphics and animation, a scene or two from a play, a new song, a dance or vision for a new dance project, etc. And imagine that these artists somehow felt more human, more alive, for having shared and received such truth and beauty.

Now take it a step further. Imagine a group of artists who did all of the above and then put turbo jets on the wings of the creative visions shared. "Turbo jets? Wings? What?"

Let me explain.

Art is sometimes a very slow process. One of the greatest deterrents of art really progressing, is a lack of resources. Resources = a supportive community, people to share and help carry out the vision, the money to make it happen, the word of mouth to bring others outside to interact with the art, etc.

So back to the turbo jets. What if a group of artists were to pull together say once a month or once every two months (or however it worked out logistically) and said, "Okay, Artist A, this month we are going to support you in your project. Remember that thing you shared with us? We want to help you make it happen, to bring it into greater fruition. Tell us what you need. How many people? What kind of money? What else? We are going to work together to help you see your vision realized, and it's going to be so awesome that God is going to get the glory for it, not just in the finished product but throughout the process. And everyone will be in awe." And then that happens. Miracles take place. Art gets produced that would have never been produced before, or at least not on that level or in that time frame. Next time, Artist A and the others say, "Okay Artist B, now it's your turn. We've seen what a group of committed people can do when the wind of God is behind them. Which vision of yours do you want to see realized? What can we do to help? How can we pray? Let's make it happen!" And again, everyone is in awe.

The thing is, we artists are so individualistic. We think we can do everything by ourselves and that we're supposed to, entitled to, 'cause after all it's "my art" and "my vision." But individualism in the extreme is just a limb cut off from the tree. It wants to hang in the air, displaying its beautiful leaves for all to see, but it doesn't want to rely on the branches to hold it up. "Branches fall off sometimes, you know. And where does that leave you?" Same place you were when you said you didn't need the branches. On the ground. So why not take the risk?

This may sound like idealism....or some weird form of communism. But it is neither. It's the way things are meant to be, and can be. It's grounded because it has roots. Check it out:

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fuflill the law of Christ." -Galatians 6:2.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." -Phlippians 2:1-4

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." -Acts 3:42-47

Like I said, this idea has roots--deep roots--and the power is in the sap, the Holy Spirit who flows through those roots into all the branches.

So let's get rooted, let's get together, and with out leafy branches interconnected and supporting one another, let's reach for the sky. Or to go back to the original metaphor, let's brew some Chai.

Ready for a revolution?

Reliable

2009-10-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"I'll meet you at 6:30."

"We'll go do______."

.....

.....

... ... ..................

Reliable. That's a word I'm not used to. I have been let down so many times by so many people in so many settings that it makes it hard to trust that people will really do what they say they will. Actually, that's not true. Typically I'll trust people to do what they say they are going to do, but when it comes to God, I tend to doubt him, a lot.

I don't know about you, but I consider myself an idealist in many ways. When somebody says they're going to do something, I believe they are going to do it. When somebody says something in sarcasm, it's sometimes difficult for me to discern right off whether they are joking or not. As you can see, I tend to take people seriously most of the time. So joke or no joke, when someone says they are going to do something, I usually take that word at face value.

And more often than not, I fall on my face.

This develops a pattern of distrust. How can anyone be reliable, much less a God who makes crazy claims about himself and what he wants to do in my life and in others' lives? If I can't trust people, who I can see, how can I trust in a God, a triune-God at that, who is somehow three persons yet one entity, and completely unseen?

Funny enough, my experience has been that this unseen God has proven himself more reliable to me than the ever-changing people in my line of sight. How can an intangible God be so tangible? How can Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit, be so very close and real? And how can I trust them, him, God, more?

This is helping: Man is like God, but God is not always like man. Humans may reflect God, but we are just that...a reflection, and incomplete. So while we can learn a whole lot about our Creator through the characteristics he placed in us (as Genesis 1:27 says, we were made in his image), there's still so much we can't see. We tell the truth, and we lie. We say one thing, and do it, then we say the same thing again the next time, and fail to follow through.

If only man could reflect God completely. If only God would reflect man completely. What does he really look like? What are we supposed to look like? Can't someone just SHOW us?

He did. And he does. :-) Colossians 1:15 says of Jesus, God the Son, "He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation."

Read that again. "He is the image of the invisible God the firstborn over all creation."

Jesus, the image. Imagination. Imagine if we could see God. Jesus is the result. Ah...But he's not the result of our imagination. Another part of the Bible tells us that Jesus was with God the Father from the very beginning of everything. Jesus shows us what God is like, and he also shows us the embodiment of God's imagination for us human beings. Imagine what humans might look like at their peak, flawless. Jesus shows us this. Somewhere in the Bible, we are told that Jesus was the second Adam, that this God the Son came to earth to re-do what the original human being messed up. He came to reclaim the image. And in reclaiming the image of human beings, he was reclaiming the image of God. Or, put another way, in restoring the image of God, showing us what God really looks like, he was and is reclaiming what we are to look like, since we were originally made in God's imaT

So, the word reliable, how does that figure into all of this? Jesus shows us the Father. The Holy Spirit shows us Jesus and the Father. Jesus is reliable because the Father is reliable. Some of the religious people of Jesus' day couldn't wrap their minds around this whole thing.

"Who are you?" they asked.
"Just what I have been claiming all along," Jesus replied. "I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is reliable, and what I have heard from him I tell the world." They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father.
(John 7:25-27)

The account of Jesus' physical life on earth show us that many of the people around him couldn't get what he was saying because they kept trying to put him on a human grid, making everything fit into their pre-conceived notions of what a God-sent man should look like and act like. I do that myself sometimes. But I'm learning that Jesus is the answer, Jesus is the grid, and he is the culmination of the Godhead's imagination for us. As we see him, we see God the Father, and in seeing and connecting to the Father, we can start to see and become our true selves, increasingly reliable.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." -Jesus, as recorded in John 14:12-14.

Kingdoms Revisited

2009-09-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

11 years ago, I got a vision for a play called Kingdoms. I had been writing music for this production years prior to knowing about the production, and as I began writing the script, many parts of my life seemed to come together: my love for writing, my talent for composing music (much of which was purely instrumental and sound-track-like for the longest time), my experiences and aspirations as an actor, my love for creating new theatre and drawing a crowd. Towards the end of my junior year of high school, on a trip to Europe if I remember correctly, I finished the play and set out to have it produced as a senior project in the coming school year.

This didn't happen.

Oh, I did what I could to make it happen, from submitting the script to my theatre teacher, to looking for other venues in which to produce the work when my teacher denied me what I felt was my right to stage it as a senior project at the school, even gathering an informal table reading among friends in the living room of my home. But the production still didn't take flight. It wasn't time, and after the reading, I knew it. The script wasn't ready, wasn't developed enough. The production as a whole would take a lot more work, time, and experience than I had anticipated, and I was lacking in all three of those areas. So I gave it to the Lord and put it on the shelf, literally (all 20 copies of it or however many I had made for the reading). I knew he had given me this vision for this play, and I already had some really cool songs to go along with it, not to mention a whole slew of characters just waiting to be fleshed out by live actors. But it wasn't time. Wasn't time. Wasn't time.

I think it's time now.

Time to produce the show? No, not quite. Time for a re-write that may lead to it becoming time to producing the show? Yes. Yes indeed. Yes indeed and no.

Let me explain. I have a pattern of doing too much on my own. I can act, write, sing, direct (though I'm not as confident in this as in other areas), produce, compose, perform. And because I can do so much, it's easy to try to do it ALL, without sharing the wealth of the creative process with others. The same was true in Kingdoms. It's limited....I have limited it to myself.

I think it's time to open it up to others. What I would like to do is to gather a group of actors, writers, and possibly musicians, all who are interested in hearing about a new work and the opportunity to collaborate on something ground-breaking. But it can only be ground-breaking with the help of many, many feet walking the ground. I would like to share the vision of Kingdoms, the basic story along with some of the music and characters, and ask those who are interested to take a character or two, a theme or more, and see what they can come up with. I'm talking monologues, song ideas, possible scenes. I don't know how this would work, but I'm guessing that something much more beautiful and multi-faceted can be created as many minds and hearts come together to build something extraordinary...the structure for a story which will house the very spirit of God. 'Cause that's what good art does, I think. Provides a structure in which God can speak, dwell, create something new.

So...what's new? We'll see in time.

Declaration of Independence

2009-08-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

To the following lords, which keep me in servitude under their tyrannical rule, I hereby declare my independence:

Clutter, that ruthless dog, obese and insatiable, whose over-sized mass buries simplicity underneath and acts accomplice to the taunts of chaos, nipping at my heels;

The Lie of Inferiority, that life-sucking devil who prophesies failure in my art, my love, and my ability to succeed in the areas wherein I was born to thrive;

Financial Ignorance and the Gluttony of Debt, those brutish brothers who plunder and pillage with no regard to my actual welfare;

I go now to colonize my territory, for God, for gold, and for glory, and I declare that henceforth you shall have no right to any share of the bounty I receive in these admirable exploits. Should you choose to hold to the course of indecency through forceful insistence that I continue to languish under your captivity, you would do well to take to arms and prepare for the war and affliction that you will incur by my hand and by those who side with me in the protection of this new-found freedom.

This independence I declare, henceforth, on the 31st of August, 2009.

No longer yours,
David Ello

Chai for the Present

2009-08-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

"Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy." -Psalm 126:5

A little more than a week ago, God invited me on a journey into the depths of my heart, to let go of something that had been taking root for a long, long, time. This something wasn't a bad thing, mind you. But because it doesn't belong there any longer and is taking up space where new growth should occur, it needs to be taken out. I need to let it go. And it's hard. There has been a seed of hope resting in the rich soil of pleasant memories and taking root in the hope that those memories might become present realities, or at least blossom into buds for the future. But memories aren't a good place to live.

Something that I feel God showed me this past week is that I have been sowing into the past, into something that no longer exists, which leaves little seed for the present.

Another way to look at is is through the metaphor of Chai. I used to go to Borders and get my Chai fix on a regular basis, as they sold the best Chai available in their signature Borders Cafes. Today, these Borders Cafes no longer exist. Oh, the Borders stores still serve cafe beverages, but it's a totally different cafe and thus a totally different set of drinks. They say they offer Chai, but it's not the same stuff that I grew to love and write poetry about back in the days of Borders Cafes. So back to the present. There's this hope in my heart, this longing, even a belief, that I have held onto for so long, but it's a belief that is rooted in a past reality...no longer present. Were I to hold onto that hope from the past, it would be like me hitting up today's Borders stores in the pursuit of my most beloved Chai, to no avail. Why? Because Borders doesn't serve the same Chai any more. It's a different cafe altogether, so why am I seeking what is no longer there?

Here's a nice surprise. If I leave the safe world of Borders stores (which I have), and venture into other cafes to try the various Chai's offered, maybe, just maybe I will find a Chai as good as the one I used to enjoy in the glory days of Borders Chai. Sure, I might run into a good number of counterfeit Chai's, coffee shops promising something that they can't deliver (which has often been the case in my experience), but is it worth the risk? Might I find a Chai somewhere whose divine quality resonates with the kiss of heaven? Is it possible? Is it?

It is. I have found it.

You see, last weekend while visiting the International House of Prayer in Kansas City after a friend's wedding, I stumbled upon my most beloved substance in quite an interesting way. I was in this prayer room, which was really intense, and there was a part of that intensity that I was able to enter into. But after awhile, there was a part of me that needed a rest and almost sensed God saying, "Take a rest, David. Come into the cafe with me."

I ventured into this cafe they have called "Higher Groundz" and I was struck when I found that they had three types of Chai available...no, four. I thought, "Hmmm...That's interesting. Reminds me of the Borders days." I asked them what kind of Chai they served, and the barista said it was "Big Train." Big Train. Hmmm...I thought I'd had Big Train before and wasn't impressed, but maybe I was mistaken. Let's go for it. So I went for it, and here's what happened. After sitting down with my Vanilla Chai (for that's the best there can be), I took one sip, and immediately my senses were aroused. My nose knew the aroma that can only come from sipping the beloved Borders Chai. My tongue leaped with joy inside my mouth as if it were surprised by the greeting of a very old friend. "This is Borders Chai!" I thought. "Granted, they didn't put enough of the Chai powder in there, but I daresay this is the same as Borders Chai!" I proceeded to ask the barista if he would give me more of the Chai powder to place in my drink (yes, as a matter of fact, Chai powder concentrates CAN be very good), and after stirring it in and taking another sip, I knew I had entered a sacred place. But it wasn't Borders in the present, and it wasn't Borders in the past. It was a moment in time I would have never expected to find Borders Chai, in a place I had never been and never imagined the site of such a joyful reunion.

There are surprises awaiting in the present and cups of joy abounding in the future. If I can celebrate what's past and lament the loss of what is no longer here, then I can open my heart wide for the present Chai pouring in. And I too can pour into the present, preparing a rich brew for the future.

"I am the LORD your God,
who brought you up out of Egypt.
Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." -Psalm 81:10.

Taste and See

2009-08-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Taste and see....Taste and see. What do those words mean? Taste and see? What if we could taste heaven? What would it be like if we could see it?

Taste...to savor, try out, experiment, ingest, imbibe, consume.

See...to glimpse, view, behold, catch sight of, take in the with eyes, capture a vision.

Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who trusts in him." Who is this Lord? Why is he good? Why is such a trust in him considered blessed, lucky, happy, fortunate?

Taste and see.

Taste

and

See.

Beloved Substance

2009-08-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Beloved Substance
by David Ello

A cup of Chai for people to drink, that they may get a taste of goodness…that is what I would be.

A cup of Chai whose divine qualities speak boastfully of the being that created it…that is what I would be.

A cup of Chai that communicates what vitality there is to be had in this life…that is what I would be.

A cup of Chai made with rich love and skill, and not the counterfeit that is produced at certain other coffee bars…that is what I would be.

A cup of Chai: a tea latte with honey, milk, sugar, ginger,

cinnamon, and an array of other spices…that is what I would be.

I am not a cup of Chai, for though I am Chai, this vessel is only

half-full.

May the one whose creativity has been poured into this beloved beverage, pour forever more, that I may become a full cup of Chai,

complete in every aspect of my essence, as I was created to be.